Happy Sunday morning my friends 🌈 this is a video of me sharing my morning SADHANA practice! It consists of 3 parts 1, tactical breathing 2 chanting and 3 simply observing the mind. They say that the mind is a wonderful servant but a lousy master. The difference between being a creator and not being a creator in this reality is wether or not you are thinking thoughts deliberately or if you just allow your thoughts to come about from what you are observing on a daily basis. When we dedicate ourselves to daily practices to know our mind and sit in the silence beneath all the chatter, our whole life begins to change. We let wisdom in our hearts and clarity into our minds. So I hope you take the time to do this 20 minute meditation with me, it’s nothing crazy! 🥰 Sorry that I’ve been inactive lately! So many things in my life are changing right now! 😳🌞
Quick outfit for the day today was lots of yellow 🌞✨🌻 I’m going to be taking my friend to church tonight after I pick him up from work 🥰 how you guys have an awesome Wednesday !
Good Tuesday morning my fellow cosmic children 🌞 last night was the SUPER Scorpio full moon and I didn’t get the chance to really HARNESS its power so I decided to do that this morning 💖 Full moons bring opportunities for us to Empty our cups, release any internal resistance from this lunar cycle, and to let go of the things that do not serve us 🌈 , Full moons illuminate what has been hidden, and especially with communication planet Mercury in the mix, this particular supermoon is bringing up new information that could be life-altering. This full moon is in scorpio, meaning that while this is about bringing release, there is also tension, which will encouraging us to embrace our worth. 🌝 I hope you take some time out of your day today to honor the magic of the moon and let go of the shit that doesn’t make your life fantastic 🌞🙏🥳
Outfit of the day is this weird ensemble 🤣🦋 I didn’t put much efforts into the fit todsy 💀🤣 Hope you all are having a fantastic Sunday, I’m going to be spending time with my respite patient and taking him to see Shrek later tonight 🌞 hehe I have the best life ever if you didn’t know! 🥰 I want to start posting more about the meditation/ metaphysical stuff I’ve been educating myself on! I’ll try to do that from here on out 🌈🌈🌈🌈
GOOD THURSDAY MORNING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! Swipe for my lil yoga routine💖 I decided to work on balance this morning shortly after I applies this face mask on so DONT ASK lmao cuz idk why 🤣 It is my dream to have impeccable balance and flexibility at some point so that I can one day get one of those crazy “yoga swings” to even further increase my flexibility!! Cuz it just feels amazing to be able to bend in all kinds of crazy ways! 🤪 Someday I’ll get there! 🥰🥰 Much love! Mckay🦋
Happy 4/20 Tuesday my friends 🌿 This morning I did a small self actualization meditation and thought I’d share the process with you. I’ve struggled with my relationship with food from a youngg age And recently I have not been nourishing myself with the type of nourishment my body agrees with, making me feel like crap and wondering why I do this with my own free will. So in my meditation I surface the feelings I feel from when I’m in that space of eating crap I know I don’t want It felt like “I have no self control” So then I asked myself to remember my first cognitive memory I ever had with food, the memory that popped up most prominently was a time when I was around 5–10 years old and my parents forcingg me to eat a piece of steak that I didn’t want because I had already began to realize that meat does not agree with me 🤣 but in that moment I didn’t have that choice to make, I couldn’t just listen to my body for what it wanted because my authority figures demanded the opposite. I remember this giving me such a sense of powerlessness. So in my meditation I took that memory and imagined myself in present time coming into the memory to comfort the little girl whom felt like she had no say in what was best for her. Reminding her that she has and will always be the creator of her own life, choices, patterns, passions, destiny and unique path. I imagined giving my little self the biggest hug as she cried. Then I closed the meditation by just sitting in that space. Observing my thoughts and What came up from that. It’s a very interesting experience. I want to get more involved with the foods I choose to put in my body. I need to learn how to really take this simple daily experience and recognize the magic that occurs within it! On this day 4/20 as I pop an edible into my mouth, And enjoy its fantastic flavor, I will from this day forward relearn how to listen to myself and align with what I know is best for me Mckay 🦋
Outfit of the day 🧞🧞🧞🧞🧞 Sorry I have been somewhat inactive these few days my friends, I’m currently house sitting for my friend and it’s been a little wonky with my regular daily schedule 💖 I hope you are having a fantastic Saturday✨ Remember to be safe no mattter what ya do ☀️
Todays simple outfit of the day 🦋 My mother texted me today telling me that we indeed will be taking another trip to hawaii in late august, after my birthday, which means I will have a shaved head by then 🤡
GOOD MORNING MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! 💖 Today I am doing CHAIR YOGA! Requested by the lovely Tracey! I’ve never done chair yoga myself, so this is just what I’ve learned from doing a lil bit of research! I’m gonna educate myself more on more simple yet useful postures in the future so forgive me if this is still a little on the difficult side 🤣 my chair was not very very accommodating either 🤡 Hopefully this is a little easier than the crazy shit I sometimes do🤣🤡 Love you Tracey! Keep striving to be the best you there is! 💖
So this morning was interesting lol. One the bright side I applied to get monetized on YouTube!! I felt very proud of myself and my accomplishments looking back at how far I have come.. BUT Then I come out of my room overhearing my father on the phone with my sibling about how she is basically TOO successful with her music and how she needs to start spending thousands of dollars from all the money she’s making from her music 🤡 This of course triggered me and made my simple monetization accomplishments feel like dumpster material, Since she got monetized after having only 3 videos on YouTube lololol. Whenever I get triggered from that (it happens often lmao) I just go outside and wait for the conversation to end 🤣 Today tho I felt so UNCOMFORTABLE and fucking tired of feeling how I feel. I decided to do some kind of strange meditation related to envy. And holy fuck it rocked my world. It started like any good trauma meditation starts, Literally making you purposely bring up the uncomfortable emotion with as many memories, down to each detail that surface the trauma. A very strange thing happened when I did that. Each memory I found where I had ever felt jealous or envious of my sibling kept going deeper and deeper. One memory that kept popping into my head was this definitive moment, I had just started playing live music at 14 and I remember looking at my mother with such pure joy and said “I never want a real job, I just want to do this for the rest of my life” And she gave me this LOOK and said “That’s pretty unrealistic” But what my feeble 14 yearr old mind heard was “you really think you’re good enough to do what successful musicians are capable of?” And it hurt my heart a lot but I didn’t even really realize how much till my fuxking sibling went out and did exactly that herself, she will never have to work a “regular job” ever again in this lifetime lmao, thanks to her music BLOWING UP, and doing the one thing my mum said to me was too unrealistic to pursue. And when I realized THAT it surfaced ANOTHER memory from even further back, when I was super youngg, around the time my own younger sibling surpassed me in height. At some point I had developed this mentality that I was the RUNT of the family, the small dumb incompetent fuck up childd, always in second place to her. Upon this realization that I had a crazy core belief like that laying dormant inside me, I began to bawl intense ugly tears!!! It was so fun! But in all reality it sucked mega balls yet at the same time I knew why I was doing this, to become aware of why I felt how I did so I can move forward from it. I could now confront that sad little gal inside me and tell her all the things she really needed to hear at that time instead of what she did hear.. It was crazy. And I felt so much better afterwords. By the end of the meditation I was guided to really take a good look into my own accomplishments, successes, and progress in life, which has been a fuck ton of stuff! I got shit on YouTube, where I’m now MONETIZED, I got shit on, Spotify, I go live on tiktok, I build all my courage to do so thanks to Instagram, I got ONLYFANS!! I have a wonderful support system and group of lovely friends who help me see the things in myself that I have a hard time seeing. I am blessed beyond measure. And comparing myself to some other human I happen to live with has takin too much of my focus. I had a conversation with my childhood crush through snapchat after the meditation and he asked me “hey do I still draw?? You were amazing!” And I was like holy fuck I haven’t drawn in years really.. Then I was hit by this burst of inspiration to draw something related to “everyone has their own unique fire in their heart” to remind me that I cannot be my best if I’m focused on what other people are doing, that’s their journey which is completely different from mine. I don’t want her success, I really don’t lmao and that’s what I’m now realizing. I’m growing at my own perfect rate, And I love it! Everyone’s got their own light to shine! ☀️
YESTERDAYS outfit of the day, I’ll post today’s later 😘 This is an adorable shirt that says PSYCHEDELICS on it, have you ever took psychedelics? You should share your experience in the comments 🤪🤪🤪 I ordered a lot of clothes from this weird online shop and for about a good month my order never arrived so I just assumed it wasn’t gonna so up and ive been bamboozled, but guess what yesterday they arrived! This was one of the shirts, and I love it so I ordered even more heheehehe
Late post from today but this was my yoga routine this morning 😬🌈 I felt like I was 80 years old when I woke up today, so I was trying to really stretch out the elderly ness inside me!🤪
Outfit of the day, once again this lil blue dress 🦋🦋🦋 Tyler’s mum invited me to go on a day trip to Prescott with her and her family today and I accepted! So far we have checked out some metaphysical shops, got a reflexology message, and soon we will be getting delicious food! I feel so very blessed to have such generous people in my life! 🌈🥳 Happy Sunday my friends!
Hello, it’s currently 2:22 AM and I just wrote a whole ass song basically about how I can’t expect the love of my life to show up on a white horse if I am not showing up with that same love for my own self, body, mind, and spirit. I called it My Own Hero. Today was a little rough for me. I spoke with my friend about a lot of our personal issues regarding our relationship to food, and body dysmorphia. It’s such a toxically addictive subject for me sometimes. It got me in a very difficult mindset for the rest of the evening of course, And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t very nice to nor kind to myself today. This must be why these lyrics surfaced from my cerebellum randomly at 2 AM when I should be sleeping. Sometimes self love feels like an impossible task. Sometimes I get flashback sensations of myself from 2 yearss ago when I felt completely disgusted and trapped in my own body. I felt this way tonight once again. I haven’t felt that way in a WHILE. Suddenly as I kept repeating not so nice commentary to myself someone whispered in my ear “Nobody’s coming to save you, you have to be your own hero, there is true love like no other, from the highest of shelves Waiting for me to discover, once I finally Love my SELF.”
Happy Saturday my favorite people! 😘 I’ve been doing a ton of crazy yogas lately so today I’m taking it easy and just sharing some simple stretches to ease tightness in the upper body. Along with a cheesy stupid dance at the end don’t ask me why 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you all for 60 subs! Feel free to message me anytime you like my friends! ♥️
Todays outfit of the day 🌸🌸🌸 with my newest wig someone kindly got from my wishlist ♥️🥺 I am finally back home from Hawaii so expect some more conisistant posts on here now 🥰 thank you all for staying loyal and subscribed during my crazy trip 😘
GUESS WHAT I DID YESTERDAY 🤣 me and my mother went to a NUDIST BEACH 🤣 we thought it was just a regular beach til we looked it up on our way there 😳 I didn’t think we were actually going to go fucking nude like everyone else there but next thing I know my mother is complete bare assed on the beach herself so I said fuck it 🤣 This crazy guy came beside us and we smoked a joint together then he tried to get my number which I declined 🤣🥳 But overall it was one of the funnest experiences of my entire life! I feel REBORN! So enjoy the photos that will be the closest thing to me posting nudies, So pls don’t ask 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🤣
GUYS MY GRANDMOTHER GAVE ME MY GRANDFATHERS UKULELE 🥺🥺🥺♥️♥️♥️ I feel so fucking blessed for her to have given this to me cuz many of her “friends” were showing interest in having it after my grandfather died 🥺🥺 It’s missing a string so I have to take it to a shop and get it restringed but I freaking ADORE IT and love the case it’s in! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️😩😩😩😩😩 Im so blessed! Swipe to hear some Dust in the Wind I played last night at my grandmas amazing house 🥳
I had my ✨🌈FIRST🌈✨ panic attack in Hawaii last night from 3 AM TO 6AM 🥳 (swipe for today’s yoga routine) yalll lol last night was rough for me and anybody who knows what it feels like after a massive panic episode KNOWS what I’m feeling today lol. I have very little energy and don’t feel like touching any food. Once again lol last night I ate a little too much of something and way too late, right before bed, and my body woke me up early in the morning to express her distress. I spent about 3 hours just violently convulsing in my bed like the exorcism or something 😩😩😩 Not fun times! I had this strange fantasy that in Hawaii it was impossible to have anxiety lolol WELP. Silly mckay! It’s funny how in the middle of the panic i feel like I’m a little gorl all over again screaming for her mother to take all the pain away. But it is moments like these that are my greatest teachers in life. Learning how to truly surrender to the suffering that I cannot escape because it is in my physical body. Now I just feel very drained and like the anxiety could be easily triggered again. 😕
So I’m gonna go do a meditation, take a shower. And just try to take it easy. Maybe smoke that joint my grandma gave me 🤣🥳
Outfit of the day 🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼 Same shorts I wore yesterday but with this new white strapless shirt and my go to cover up shall 🥳 along with this ADORABLE new bag I got from wal mart! 🐼🐼🐼
Here is a video of me performing “Imagine” In my grandmas amazing house, half baked, surrounded by her, my mum hugging her, and her crazy amazing hippie friends!! 🌈🥳 This song was very special to my grandma, I played it especially for her In honor of my grandfather whom passed away a few months back. His magical presence is very powerful in the house. I love how everyone begins singing along and added their unique instruments along with mine 🥳 NOT TO MENTION HOW FUCKING GOOD THE ACOUSTICS SOUND THANKS TO THE STRUCTURE OF THE HOUSE 😩
I am so grateful I am here able to experience all of this 🌈
ALOHA 🌈🌺🥳 I finally found a somewhat decent place to do my outfit of the day! 💚🌴🌿🍈 And it’s a basic tank top with these comfty shorts with this BEAUTIFUL cover my friend Paul got me 🥺🙏 thank you Paul!!
Yall this hotel is wild lol we are staying here for two weeks and they won’t do housekeeping during our entire stay supposedly because of covid??? And we found some random hairs around our hotel room when we first got into our room 🤣 and now that I’m looking at these photos there is a clear nasty stain on the walls of the balcony 🤣😳
On Saturday we will be checking out of our hotel to go stay with my mums friend for the duration of our stay here in Hawaii. I am looking forward to this A LOT cuz I know these people are crazy amazing and part of the whole reason we have come to hawaii🌈
HELLO FROM PARADISE 🌈 today is overcast but the weather still feels so amazing 🥺🥺 Swipe for some awkward happy selfies and my lil yoga routine from the balcony of my hotel 🌞 I’m going to cry such hard ugly tears by the end of this trip you guys.. the only thing I feel is left for me in Arizona is Tyler Dunbar and my Dog 😭😭😭
I’ve had so many adventures!! I got to see a friend, Ryan, that I met through Instagram in person a few days ago which was just INSANE! He is the most genuine talented soul I’ve ever met! And his ukulele instructor met me too and he said he would give me FREE LESSONS 😭😭 Me my mum and Ryan also hung out yesterday over on a little island and watched the sun set with the prettiest rainbow!! Then we said goodbye and thought that would be that,, But when me and my mother went to go to dinner later last night next thing we know Ryan is ALSO THERE already sitting at a booth with his friend and they let us sit with them 🥺🥺🥺 It was THE CRAZIEST MOMENT and we had so much fun! I feel so loved here, it feels like HOME 🥺 And I have to go back to the dry hell hole that has half ass food and drinking water that tastes like 🚽 water 😩😩😩😭😭😭😭 And I just have a ton of Arizona weirdos telling me that we should hang out when I get back and I don’t want any part of it 🤮🤮😭 Idk what I’m gonna do 🤣 #prayformckay as she comes up with a scheme of how to stay bloomed where she’s been planted🙏🤣🌈✨🦋
Aloha my loves 🥰 Here’s a few pics I have from my recent trip, I haven’t found any good places in my hotel to take regular GOOD outfit of the day pics 🥺🙏 I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to post anything recently! I’m gonna try to find a way to post at least my yoga routine tomarrow! 🥰
Aloha my friends 🌈✈️ I have been not very active on here and for good reason! Yesterday me and my mum flew to Hawaii! And I am SO in love 🥳🌈 we will be here for 2 weeks but I’m gonna TRY to post regularly now that I have arrived so don’t think I have forgotten about my love for you all 🥰🥰🥰 I’m just having the time of my life here and I never want to leave 🤣✨
What a strange 24 it’s been.... ever since Aries season started.. (swipe for today’s yoga routine!) I did something really stupid last night! 🤡 But I don’t regret a single thing 😚👌🏼 For those of you who are in the discord chat you already know 🤣 I invited my good friend, my sweet fuckin friend, the only friend I have who I allow at my house during covid hours.. totally just envisioning us having a good ol time, buying som chipotle, watching some Netflix and shi with me and my parents,, Then I remembered I had to pick up my friend Tyler from work and take him home first, So I thought that would be fine, I’ll take him home drop him off then head back to go hang out with George 🤷🏼♀️🌸
WELL. Tyler’s mum texted me, me and here are so cool! And she told me that her daughter, whom has been STRUGGLING a lot with all kinds of mental disorders, addictions, drug use, and had been MISSING for days was finally home, and she wanted to meeet me! And she was trying to learn how to play guitar! 🥺🥺🥺🌈🌈🌈🌈
So I was LIKE YAAAAS I want to meeet this gal, talk with her about music and maybe set up some guitar lessons??? 🥳🥳 then be well on my way to go spend time with GEORGE!!!
Well that’s not what went down 💩💩💩💩
I take Tyler home, I go in and chill with him, his mum, the daughter and her friend who is there, we chat for a bit but then at one point Tyler’s mom makes it obvious that she is taking Tyler inside so that me and these 2 girls are together. The conversations were somewhat random but for some reason I felt like she had something to tell me🤔 so I stayed for longer that I should have them next thing I know... I’m taking a freaking hit from her bong 🤣😭 And they told me I just took A LOT of what ever kind of crazy SHIT they just gave me.
So I sat there for about 5 minute and could tell that shit was about to get INTENSE, then all the sudden my mother calls me thank GOD
So went to the back of their house to tell my mother I was TOO high to drive at the moment so I couldn’t come home myself 🤡👌🏼 So she said she’d come get me!
Cool beans WELL I decided that I wasn’t going to try to be any burden to anyone and just left out the back gate without telling ANYONE ???? 🤣 and i just went in my car, drove to the mailbox nearby their house Before I really felt anythinf,, to somewhat avoid anyone seeing me so fucked up once it hit 🤣 then I thought about messaging Tyler’s mum to let her know I left but then I realized I had 0 service. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
So at that point nobody knew where I was all they knew was that I was high as fuck. And they thought I was driving around 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Whic wasn’t the case but I couldn’t tell anyone cuz I GOT TOO HIGH to figure out how to send a message. My mother ended up calling me which I someone answered and I just said “IM AT THE MAILBOX IM NOT DRIVING JUST COME GET ME”
It was the weirdest high of my life literally the things my mind was convincing me was real was so REALISTIC. It was actually quite the enlightening experience and I don’t regret taking the hit lmaoo
But I do regret not being able to let everyone know I was safe and there was no need to worry. And for not being home when I invited my friend over who is trying to quit smoking weed so that he can be there for his new SON 🥳😩💩
So I am kind of a piece of shit 🤣 but I apologized to him and asked if there’s anything i can do to make up for it let me know!! You know what this mother fucker said “ The only thing you can do for me is be safe and love yourself. It’s okay to indulge every once in awhile and it will never make you a bad person ! Youthful mistake, learn, grow and just be happy! I love you and your family, thank you so much you are a joy to have as a friend and I will always be there! Never hesitate to call me in situations. I can always help you get you or be your safe haven if something like this happens again!”
AND DUDE I BALLED MY EYES OUTTTTT to that I am so blessed to have him as a friend 😭😭😭😭🥳🥳🥳
And I know I am supposed to be in his families life for a reason. I let myself get wonked up with these lovely girls haha but I’m really hoping to be a GOOD influence on her instead of getting fucked up with her... 🤣
It was a wild experience. And I learned 🤣 I still feel like an ass 🤣
So I did yoga this morning feeling like an ass 🤣 But I still did it And I used a roller to hopefully roll out the assness inside me 🤣👏🏼 Hope you enjoy! Mckay 🦋
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SO FAR, WIG NUMBER 3! 🌸🐷🏳️⚧️🌷💞 this was bought off my wishlist thanks to my beautiful friend Tracey 🥰 I really like this wig cuz it’s easy to put on, keep detangled, and the bangs help it look more natural 🌈🌈😍😍 I think it fits my personality the best so far too!
I’m so excited to try out new wigs!!! 👏🏼🥳 if there is a certain wig style/ color that y’all would like me to try do let me know I’ll try to find one that matches your desires! 🌸
Wig number 2! 🥥🐻🤎 This was the first wig I received from my wonderful friend Milk who got this off of my Amazon wishlist 🥳💕 its Very long and gets tangled easily and makes me look like a basic white girl 🤣 These wigs are So Fun tho I love how every single one has its own personality to it! Definitely this one is my second fav of the 3!
Wig number 1.♥️🤣😩 This looks like if Ariel had a drunkin one night stand under the sea 😭🥳 I bought this myself about a week ago and I’m not too happy with it so I think I’m either gonna give it to someone or just take it back 🤣👏🏼
Outfit of the day 💛🌻🐝🌼🍋 with a little sneak peak of the 3 wigs I now have 👀 I’m going to do individual posts for all 3 wigs cuz I took a TON of pictures with them! 🤣 except for the red one cuz that one is pretty trash 😩👏🏼🤣 as some of you already know I’m shaving my head on my 22nd birthday on August 7th, so I thought when I’m bored of the shaved look why not dig the wig look 😎 it’s gonna be a fun new way for me to freely express myself differently everydsy! Let me knkw which one is YOUR fav, I know mine 🤣👏🏼
