Three weeks of chastity are over. As you can see the seal is still intact. I will now break it and clean myself thoroughly (My master has given me access to the key for that) 😉
2024-08-04 07:54:30 +0000 UTC View Post
I was asked to answer a few questions regarding my 3 weeks chastity challenge, which I would like to do now.
1. How did you keep yourself clean during this long period?
I lately made a video about this on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-GFo2-snyx/?igsh=a3EyMTdhcXp6eTNn). For anyone who doesn't have Instagram or doesn't want to look there: I showered twice a day and rinsed my belt thoroughly. I also bathed 1-2 times a week to soak any stuck "dirt" and then rinse it off better. And I use braces brushes and cotton buds to clean the front holes properly.
2. Have you felt any problems or compromises (flexibility, fitness, diet, clothes fitting differently, washing routine, pressure points, increased sensitivity, frustrations) when wearing them all the time or is it all just trivial?
First of all, I have to say that I usually wear my belt for several days and only have it off when I'm with my master. Since we have a long-distance relationship, I'm without my master most of the time and am therefore looked up most of the time. That's why it wasn't such a big change from my previous routine.
Flexibility: I have no restrictions on my flexibility with the belt. I also do a lot of sport with it (cycling, yoga, horse riding, gym, climbing). There should also be videos of yoga in my profile. However, I haven't done any sport in the last three weeks apart from cycling because I simply didn't have enough time for it during my internship.
Fitness: as I said, I also go to the gym with my belt and haven't experienced any restrictions so far. To be fair, I have to say that I have only done strength training and some 15-minute warm-up program on the stepper with the belt. When I go back to the gym regularly and do longer cardio sessions, I'll report back on how things are going.
Diet: as I wear a waist belt, my food intake is restricted, but not to an unhealthy extent. In other words, if I eat regularly (two to three meals a day), I have no restrictions. However, I can't eat nothing all day and then consume all my calories in the evening by eating two or three portions at once. Eating so much at once is simply not possible with the belt.
Clothes that fit differently: the belt shapes the body and so clothes definitely fit differently. I can still wear all the clothes I have (at least I think so. I haven't noticed anything different yet). However, I have to combine some items of clothing differently than I used to in order for them to look good. And I think choosing clothes with a belt is therefore more complicated than without. But I'm not sure that if you've been wearing the belt for a long time and know exactly what you need to combine to make it look good, the time required won't go down.
Washing routine: I already wrote something about this in the first question. The effort required for good hygiene is definitely much higher than without a belt. On the one hand for all toilet visits, and on the other hand for the washing routine.
Pressure points: Pressure marks are definitely a part of longtime wear. You can see in the pictures that I have clear marks from the belt at the back of my hips. However, I don't find them painful. It doesn't feel like bruising either. I apply cream to the pressure points twice a day to prevent the skin from chafing.
I have an open area at the moment, but this is because I have been wearing my thigh bands for the last week. The chains from the thigh bands are a tiny bit too short as the thigh bands were made for my last chastity belt and it sat a tick lower. As a result, the belt is pulled down a lot and therefore chafes more then it usually do. If I have open areas, I simply stick blister plasters over them. They adhere very well, provide cushioning and ensure that the open area can heal despite continuing to wear the belt instead of continuing to chafe.
Increased sensitivity and frustration: I'm not quite sure what the questioner meant by increased sensitivity. In my case, the longer the chastity lasts, the more easily I am sexually aroused and the more quickly I get frustrated. However, the degree of frustration depends very much on how often and for how long I'm being teased.
3. Would you be willing to continue?
Yes, definitely. I really enjoy being sealed. However, I have physiotherapy starting on Monday and then I won't be able to wear the belt without interruption. And it will be good to have a hygiene opening tomorrow.
4. What do you think your maximum time duration could be?
I think I could wear it permanently, i.e. 24/7/365, if I get regular hygiene openings (and don't have any medical procedures where I can't wear it). But it would probably be physically possible. On the other hand I have absolutely no idea how long I would be able to cope with it mentally.
After I was locked in my cage last night, my master ordered me to remove my blanket from the cage and throw it far enough away that I couldn't reach it anymore. I then objected, saying that it might get cold (I had the window open) and that I generally can't sleep without a blanket. He then allowed me to place the blanket just within reach from the cage, and told me I could retrieve it if necessary, but that I would have to message him if I did. I found this quite unfair and immediately felt resistant. I felt mistreated, wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this treatment, and whether he was angry with me. But instead of sulking, I managed to ask him if it was a punishment. I'm quite proud of that. After he explained that it wasn't a punishment, I felt better and was able to mentally engage with the task. I still expressed to him how I felt, telling him that I found the game silly, that I always sleep with a blanket no matter the temperature, and that I felt unsafe and vulnerable without one. I think it's important to express my emotions, both so he knows what’s going on with me and can better gauge his actions, and because it's healthier to give space to emotions rather than suppress them. He then explained that he was looking out for me and instructed me to meditate, to intensely imagine that he was there for me, and to realize that the only thing I need in my life is his guidance and support. I did just that. I cuddled with one of his T-shirts, inhaled his scent, and imagined he was there with me, focusing on the thought that he was all I needed. It was really nice. I quickly calmed down and fell into a relaxed, twilight state. However, I didn’t really sleep. I’m not sure if it was because it was too cool or because I couldn’t cover myself, but I kept drifting from that pleasant twilight state back to wakefulness, despite being exhausted. Around 1:30 AM, I retrieved the blanket so I could get at least a few hours of sleep. That felt bad and like a failure. I hate not being able to accomplish things. However, I was too tired to dwell on it for long and fell asleep immediately, sleeping through until this morning.
2024-07-31 09:36:30 +0000 UTC View Post
I was quite frustrated this evening because I have to enroll in my master's program this week and didn't get a spot at my preferred university. This made me feel like once again I wasn't good enough. My Master called me and I talked to him on the phone, and he comforted me. That felt good, and I felt better afterward.
Then he asked me to kneel and write about the topic "I belong to my Master and have no way to end this relationship or influence it against his will." (I was actually supposed to write something about this by Thursday. However, I couldn't do it then because I didn't feel a strong connection with my Master last week. It's extremely difficult for me to maintain the feeling of our connection over a distance, especially in times when he has little time for me.) Today, however, the task went well, and it felt really good to write about it. I am quite happy and content right now and am going to sleep now 🥰
I wish you all a good night 🤗💜
I’m sitting by the Rhine, eating ice cream, enjoying the sun, and planning my birthday 🥰
And I’ve decided to give you all a gift 🎁 So my OnlyFans will be discounted for everyone throughout August 💜
And I think I’ll be sending exclusive content via message to everyone who’s been supporting me for a while 😉
In case you'd like to make me happy for my birthday, feel free to have a look in my profile, there are links to my wishlists 🤗🎁
Just a little belt check: it's still the same seal number 😉
2024-07-29 11:28:45 +0000 UTC View PostSunday mood: playing around with chains and restraining stuff and wearing my plug 🥰
2024-07-28 16:53:39 +0000 UTC View Post
I wasn't motivated to do household chores. So I add some cuffs and restraints to make it more fun 😉
2024-07-23 18:24:45 +0000 UTC View Post
This week's task:
Wearing my thigh bands the whole day (except in my internship) and doing some plug training 🥰
"What embarrasses you?"
There aren't many things that embarrass me. I feel embarrassed when my Master points out my mistakes. It's even worse when he does so in front of others. I also find it humiliating and degrading when I'm made to beg for things, especially when I have to beg for something I don't actually want. It's even worse when I have to refer to myself in the third person and use degrading terms for myself.
On the other hand, things that others "do" to me aren't humiliating or embarrassing for me. For example, eating from a bowl is just amusing, but not embarrassing. At least, the practice itself isn't. In the right setting, it can be humiliating (e.g., being forbidden to eat at the table because I'm "just a slave," being made to beg to eat from the bowl, and then my Master laughing at my begging for a while before allowing me to eat from the bowl).
"What do you wish for your development in the future?"
My greatest wish is to become an even better slave for my Master. I want to completely fulfill his wishes and let go of my own needs and desires. I want to be a part of him and entirely dependent on him. I wish to live with him and serve him every day. I want to achieve a state of unconditional obedience.
Currently, I am working a lot on becoming emotionally more stable and practicing mindfulness, patience, and radical acceptance. The latter is particularly difficult for me. I am very impatient and want everything immediately. I often get angry when I have to hold back. Not in a way that I take it out on my Master, but it's often my first reaction, followed by self-pity and a long process of acceptance, especially when it comes to things that are important to me. I want to improve in this area.
"How do your different "BDSM personalities" (e.g. Chastity Girl & Pony Girl) harmonize together?"
First of all: I am primarily a slave. This part is the most important to me because it gives me the most emotional satisfaction. It’s a lifestyle that dominates my entire daily life. As a slave, my main concern is to please my master and make him happy. My master is into chastity belts, so I wear one. And because a good slave doesn't just follow orders but makes an effort to internalize the wishes of her master, I do that. I find a lot of joy in wearing the chastity belt for him and have started to enjoy the feeling and feel incomplete without it when he’s not around to take care of me.
Besides that, there are my pet personalities: Cat Girl "Kitzuna" and Pony Girl "Hime." I don’t live this out with my master but with my dear friend @yourhandler . Unfortunately, he lives quite far away, so we can’t play together very often.
Then there’s my Little personality "Mila." I currently express this very rarely because I don't have a caregiver for her at the moment. Sometimes I play alone, but it's not nearly as good as with a caregiver because the whole aspect of "being cared for" is missing.
Lastly, there's my dominant, sadistic side. I'm still experimenting and exploring how I want to live this out in the long run and simply enjoy having sessions now and then where I take the active role.
So, how do they harmonize together? They don’t. I just live out different aspects with different people.
I spent today locked up and chained (and getting teased a lot), binge-watching all the episodes of "Vampire Dormitory" 🥰 (and getting fucking horny 😏)
Now I'm thinking about which anime to watch next. Any suggestions? 🤔
"Does wearing a CB represent a high degree of submission for you?"
Yes, it does. I am a very sexual person. I like to masturbate several times a day, for pleasure or to relieve stress. I also really enjoy having sex. I enjoy getting intimate with people I like. Even outside of partnerships. I'm not monogamous at all. So for me it's an extremely big act of submission to give my sexuality completely into the hands of my master and to focus my pleasure completely and exclusively on him. This is something new for me that I struggle with from time to time because it goes against my sexual nature. At the same time, however, it makes me extremely happy to give my master such a great gift. The fact that it is not easy for me makes it all the more valuable. My CB supports me and protects me from impulsive stupidities that I would regret afterwards. That's why I'm very grateful to be able to wear it. I also know how much my master loves it when I wear it. That's why I love wearing the CB and being locked away for my master. So yes, a very high level of submission.
Good morning everyone,
I'm so fucking horny and frustrated right now 😏😩 I got teased for several hours tonight, that was so mean 🥲 I have a feeling the weekend will be exhausting 😅🙈
"How did you meet your master and were you not afraid to submit to him?"
We got to know each other in a Telegram group. He had noticed that I was a model and had asked me a few things about it. A few months later, I asked in the same group for people who knew about the topic of "t0rture & interrogation" because I had planned a video shoot 😏 and wanted to find out beforehand. I then set up a new group to discuss this. Among other things, I wrote to him there and later spoke to him on the phone 📞
A few weeks later, I thought that I would like to have someone with me for the shoot who knew something about the topic. So I asked in the newly formed group if he could imagine doing it. My master got in touch and we spoke again on the phone and arranged a meeting. We then met halfway between his home and mine and went to a café. We talked about various things there for a while. Later, we went for a walk and ended up in a park. He offered me the handcuff protectors (which we had talked about on the phone) to try out (I had told him on the phone that I had had problems with handcuffs in the past and he told me about the protectors). Of course I wanted to try them out straight away 😅🔗🔒
And then we very quickly got into a pretty wild game where I ran away from him & he overpowered me & threw me on the floor. I landed in the dirt a few times, laughed & moaned a lot, didn't get much air and even had dirt shoved in my mouth 😏🥵😅
On the way back to the station, he unexpectedly took me by the hand 👫🤝 and we talked about kinks and DS's relationship. But I also told him that I'm neurodivergent and exactly what that means in my case. It's important to me to be open about it so that people know what they're getting into when they get involved with me.
I was pretty intoxicated by the meeting and by him and it was clear that I wanted to see him again and play with him extensively 🥰 and then it very quickly developed from "let's meet up to play now and then" to "I want to be all yours" 😍😍😍
The question "Why weren't you afraid to submit to him?" is wrong. "Why did you dare to submit to him despite your fear?" would be more correct. Because I was afraid. Especially at the beginning, I was regularly very scared. But I was still able to get involved for various reasons. For one thing, we have mutual acquaintances, so I was able to hear from others beforehand what they knew about him and what impression they had of him. Secondly, you build something like this up step by step, so you only ever have to get involved in the next step. It's also super helpful if you have a circle of friends where you can talk openly about the relationship and friends who you know will give you open feedback. This is especially important for games with addiction and personality development. For me, it means that I can rely on getting feedback if my friends think that something in my relationship is going in a bad direction.
Apart from that, he has earned my trust. He has shown me time and time again that I can trust him. Every time I've shown myself vulnerable or there have been problems, he's been there for me with understanding and has made me feel that he sees me and my needs. At the same time, he never let himself be taken for a ride. He earned my respect because he calmly and patiently listened to my needs, wishes and fears and still decided time and again that it wasn't about me. It's good to know that he looks at my emotional life and takes it into account, but doesn't let it dictate his decision. He is absolutely amazing and so deserving of my submission. Of course he uses and utilizes me to satisfy his needs and for his benefit, but takes his responsibility to me seriously and is a positive influence in all aspects of my life. We've been together for over a year now and I've never regretted (apart from a few emotional overreactions on my part) submitting to him. He is a great person and the best gentleman I know (and I have met quite a few gentlemen) and being his slave means everything to me.
On my way to Dresden to spend the weekend with a friend. I'm really looking forward to a relaxed weekend with anime, PC gaming, night walks, and maybe a bit of playtime too 🥰
2024-07-18 13:17:25 +0000 UTC View Post"Why do you like submission?"
I love submission for a whole host of reasons.
Of course, there's the sexual level for one. I like things like being used. I love to feel his desire and to be squeezed by him in the way he wants me to be. I like this animalistic aspect and I love being fucked hard and violently and feeling how he gets off on me. I like to feel helpless and at his mercy, and I love it when fear and pain and my arousal intertwine. That's just how my sexuality works. Tender caresses are just as much of a turn-off for me as asking for what I want. I draw my own pleasure from his lust and desire and the more unbridled he is, the hotter I am for him.
Then there's the interpersonal level. Clear rules give me a lot of stability in a relationship. Knowing what is expected of me and that everything is good as long as I stick to the rules, reassures me and gives me security. I don't have to think about what might be expected or guess which unspoken rule I've broken to make him angry with me again. I like how much and how openly we communicate in a DS relationship. It creates an incredible closeness and intimacy with each other. And also living out situations with strength of evoking emotions and physical reactions strengthens this closeness and trust in each other. This creates a wonderful depth in the relationship. I like the security of knowing that I am accepted and loved as a complete person because he knows me, knows my most vulnerable sides, my deepest fears, my most secret longings and desires and my biggest mistakes. And for me, clear rules, open communication and a clear division of roles ensure that there doesn't have to be any arguments. If he's disappointed, sad or angry, we can talk about it. And I can assume that he wants something else. Then I can either change it or ask him to help me learn how to implement a change. If I am disappointed, sad or angry, I can always come to him and know that he will listen to me and understand how I feel. Knowing that I'm not entitled to demands from him helps me to stay with myself and see what I can do to make things feel better for me or to deal with situations better. I think it also takes the pressure off him, because I don't expect him to change himself or the situation, but leave open the possibilities for solutions. And knowing that I can always ask him for support really helps me to engage with his solution. He is free to decide whether he wants to change something about himself or the situation or whether I should change my attitude to things (or at least start working on it). That is incredibly liberating for me. It takes the pressure off because I don't see him as an opponent who I have to fight against in an argument, but as my ally who looks for the best solutions with me and has my well-being in mind when making decisions. And experiencing how much emotions can change when I change my perspective and my assessment is super liberating.
And then there's a spiritual level for me, by which I mean personal growth. I like the fact that I'm not solely responsible for my growth in the DS relationship. It's important to my master that I develop. Development only takes place outside the comfort zone and having someone who constantly takes you out of it and makes sure that you face challenging, perhaps even frightening situations, helps tremendously. Pain is part of life. However, suffering only takes place if you can't accept the pain. BDSM is a beautiful playing field for me to experience how pain changes when your attitude to it changes. Knowing where my mental and physical limits are helps me to approach everyday life problems with more optimism because I know how resilient I am. I also enjoy being able to intensely feel and act out all the negative feelings such as pain, suffering, fear and anger in the game. There's something incredibly liberating about that. That contributes to an experience of "wholeness" for me. I'm also someone who thinks a lot about everything. Giving my master responsibility for my life frees me to live more in the here and now and to brood less. And gives me the capacity to take more responsibility for my emotions and to invest energies in a relaxed, benevolent, non-judgmental and appreciative attitude towards myself and all living beings.
So why do I like submission? Because it satisfies me sexually and because it brings me great interpersonal relationship and spiritual growth.
In today's part of my essay, I answered the question "Why do you like submission" ✍️ and tested how long I can kneel on the crown cap 😁
The answer is 25 minutes, then my legs start to go numb 😅 I spent the remaining 20 minutes sitting on it and now I have beautiful marks everywhere 🥰
Wish you all a good night 💫🌛😴💜
2024-07-16 20:49:10 +0000 UTC View Post"Why did you go into submission and when did this desire first arise?"
I've more or less always had this inclination. I've always been very fascinated by "bad guys" and felt attracted to them. It started with crushes on characters from films, series and books. I also liked being overwhelmed and pinned down in playful brawls. Fighting and losing and always rebelling and fighting was my thing. I was in my element.
I had my first boyfriend when I was 14. He was older than me and he dominated me. In bed and in everyday life. Letting him lead me came completely naturally to me. I had no idea about BDSM back then, but letting him lead me just felt right. He loved me and always went out of his way to protect me and make sure I was okay. I realized that it was nice to be able to relinquish responsibility and decisions and that it helped me to grow personally to engage with him and let him shape me. I came from a parental home that gave me little support and structure. Getting rules from him and being able to turn to him at any time with problems and knowing that he would take care of them gave me a sense of security that I had never known before. I also liked the developmental steps I took with him. I liked the person I was in his presence and under his guidance. And the sex was pretty great. We were super good, harmonizing and always trying new things. And knowing that he carried me on his hands and did everything to make me feel good and happy as long as I was good and obedient was simply intoxicatingly beautiful.
The task this week is to write an essay on the topic "My Path to Submission" ✍️ I’ve spiced up the task a bit by using this bottle cap coaster 🌶️
In the first part of the essay, which I wrote today, I talked about how and when I came to submission. I'll publish the text here later 😉. Over the next few days, as part of this essay, I will also answer more questions that I've received from the participants of my challenge.
So here's another picture from yesterday and a close-up of my seal number 😉
2024-07-15 13:30:50 +0000 UTC View PostWell locked up for the challenge 🥰
2024-07-14 17:11:07 +0000 UTC View Post
I am on my way to my master 🥰🖤 We're going away for the weekend, and I'm very excited because he wants to seal my belt this weekend 😅
2024-07-12 08:05:01 +0000 UTC View PostDay 12 without any break 🥰 This will be a new record 🥳🎉
2024-07-08 19:42:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Wanna play a game? 😏 Here's an interactive game with me for you 😉
If you've taken a look at my statistics from time to time, then you know that my master often lets me out of the CB at night and that I'm allowed to have orgasms quite regularly 🔓💦
My master has decided that we should intensify my chastity a little 📈 And because you all voted diligently for me to be locked up for longer, he decides to involve you in the process. So my master has thought about the following:
- You can tip me to be involved
- The goal is 3 weeks for now (this can also be extended, let's see how it goes 😉).
- I will have to complete a task every week and film it.
- Everyone who tips here can help decide which task I do and gets the films of all weekly tasks
- We start on 14th July. My master will seal my belt at this day
- Every 25$ means one more day of being locked up
- The first voting for my first weekly task will take place from 12th to 14th July, so please tip diligently and write me ideas for tasks 🙏
As promised, here is the pole dance video 😉
2024-07-06 20:00:26 +0000 UTC View Post
I've noticed that I haven't finished writing the report from BoundCon 😅. So, here's part 2 of BoundCon Saturday:
After the video shoots, which I also reported on, I went to the fair and then almost directly to the pony race. It was my first time with pony heels and a sulky. That was quite a challenge 🐎 I ran against @emilyaddamsofficial and Rachel. We both wore pony heels and had to slalom with the sulkys. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough space, resulting in a few accidents in the first round. I got a scrape on my knee, but nothing serious 🩸
For the next rounds, we took off the pony heels. I was a bit sad, but it was difficult to keep balance with the heels. The next rounds were barefoot and without any accidents 😊 I won the race again and was very happy 🏆🥰
After that, I went to the paramedic and got my knee treated. As I said, it wasn't serious, but it's better to get it properly taken care of 😉
My Master was also at the pony race and took photos. Afterwards, we walked around the convention together, looked at some booths, and chatted. I also participated in the Chastity Babes photo shoot by Fotoro on the outdoor stage and talked to Marta Klinta Steel for a while since we had a shoot planned for Sunday. It was the first time I met her, and she's just as nice in person as she is online 😍
In the evening, we went to a club, and I danced at the pole for my Master and our friends 🥰 I love doing it, but I do it far too rarely 😅 A video of me pole dancing will come later 😉
I'm tired as fuck, this week was so exhausting 😅 But I learned a lot and I still enjoy my internship and the possibilities it offers 🥰
Hope you all have a great evening 💜
PS: I'm on Day 9 of my current chastity session and starting to get a bit frustrated 😁
Today, I enjoyed the sun during a walk 🌞 I love wearing light fabrics and only the chastity belt as underwear in the current temperatures ⛓️🔒🥰
Now I'm on my way to the ice cream parlor 🍦 with friends, and afterward, we'll cook together and have a nice evening. I'm really excited 😊