"What embarrasses you?" There aren't many things that embar..

"What embarrasses you?"

There aren't many things that embarrass me. I feel embarrassed when my Master points out my mistakes. It's even worse when he does so in front of others. I also find it humiliating and degrading when I'm made to beg for things, especially when I have to beg for something I don't actually want. It's even worse when I have to refer to myself in the third person and use degrading terms for myself.

On the other hand, things that others "do" to me aren't humiliating or embarrassing for me. For example, eating from a bowl is just amusing, but not embarrassing. At least, the practice itself isn't. In the right setting, it can be humiliating (e.g., being forbidden to eat at the table because I'm "just a slave," being made to beg to eat from the bowl, and then my Master laughing at my begging for a while before allowing me to eat from the bowl).

"What do you wish for your development in the future?"

My greatest wish is to become an even better slave for my Master. I want to completely fulfill his wishes and let go of my own needs and desires. I want to be a part of him and entirely dependent on him. I wish to live with him and serve him every day. I want to achieve a state of unconditional obedience.

Currently, I am working a lot on becoming emotionally more stable and practicing mindfulness, patience, and radical acceptance. The latter is particularly difficult for me. I am very impatient and want everything immediately. I often get angry when I have to hold back. Not in a way that I take it out on my Master, but it's often my first reaction, followed by self-pity and a long process of acceptance, especially when it comes to things that are important to me. I want to improve in this area.