It's #throwbackthursday again! this time we're going back to 2022 to get back on the cozy magic carpet, and I think I'm going to need some help with the helm 😜. I have good news today, next July 14th Jose Spinnin and I will be in Provincetown DJing at the Bear Week "QCare Bears" party at the Red Rom from 10pm to 1am. The place has two floors and each of us will be playing on one of them. It's going to be a blast, I'm sure. If you're in town for Bear Week, check my social media for the ticket link (space is limited). I'm looking forward to finally seeing Ptown in all its glory and spending a day in Boston on the way back ☺️ I hear it's a beautiful city. Have a great Thursday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys, today I'm sitting here patiently waiting for you to come and take care of breakfast 😜😅 Do you think you can make me get up? Yesterday I recorded a new song (the vocals, that is, the arrangement is almost done, I've been working on the instrumentation for almost 2 months) and today I'll continue working on it, most likely recording backing vocals and then lead vocals for another song. Step by step the new album is taking shape and I'm beginning to suspect it's going to be a long one. Happy Wednesday 😘 ❤️
Good morning folks! If you're going to fight, make it fun and on your terms, right? Am I right? 😜. So let's get back to this black singlet at Rich's request and have some fun in the ring 🤪. This week has been interesting to say the least. In the middle of my own fights I'm working on two new songs and trying to figure out how to make more pictures so you can have something to look at in the coming days. I'm still amazed that it's so hard to find someone to collaborate with here! Most of the issues are privacy (they're afraid the content will be stolen), but well, maybe that's for a reason. I still think we should have our own BK event so I could meet you all there and get it over with 🤣🤣 Have a great Tuesday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys, let's start the week with an open mind, if anything can happen, why not wish for the best? ☺️ This is one of the last galleries from the love seat, I still think we should come back and give it a ride as it was designed to be used, any volunteers? 😜 Have a wonderful Monday 😘❤️
🎼Let's get -nconscious, honey Let's get -nconscious, honey 🎶 Good morning guys, today I woke up thinking about this song by Madonna. And that's how I'd like to spend the day, floating, relaxed and maybe a little high 😅.
The last few days have been pretty complicated at the health department. I'm not ready to talk about it yet (and I'm not sure that's the best thing for me to do, because I don't like being a "Debbie Downer"), but believe me, I'm trying my best to be good as new as soon as possible. Enjoy the moment folks, every day is a gift. Happy Sunday 😘 ❤️
Good morning friends. Hope your week went well and the weekend looks great. Today I need a break and nothing better than getting back in the Jacuzzi ☺️
I want you to know that I appreciate your support from the bottom of my heart. You can't imagine how important it has been to have you here from the beginning and at this moment in my life. I love the joy and pleasure this journey has brought to all of us. In my dreams we all throw ourselves into a week long orgy on an island, naked but safe, in each other's arms.
Good morning, everyone! Another happy ending Toy Story? Have we gone nuts this week or what? 🤪💦🍆🤣 I bought this second toy last week and it arrived two days ago, so yesterday I took a break from my book editing work and made this video for you. I won't spoil it for you, so enjoy! Have a wonderful Friday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys, it's #throwbackthursday and while going through my vault I found this photo shoot from 2022. Turns out there are quite a few pictures I didn't share back when we did it. This first set reminds me of my happy place, would you join me? ☺️ Hope your week is going well, mine is moving slowly but steadily. Have a beautiful Thursday dear friends ❤️😘❤️
Good morning guys! Do you love a happy ending to a Toy Story? 🤪💦🍆 Well, you're in luck because that's what I have for you today. Last week, I was wondering if using this toy again would be more fun. Turns out it was. I won't spoil the end, but let's say that the theorem is becoming true: the more times you try a toy, the better it gets. Fun fact: I wasn't sure it was going to work, so I didn't comb my hair or set up the lights right... I was a little messy, but it was worth it. Hope you're having a great week, happy Wednesday! 😘❤️
Good morning guys! Breakfast time on the jacuzzi, cake's on me! 🍰💦☺️ As expected, I'm super tired after all the weeks of anticipation, rehearsals and work, and then the trip and then the show, so I'm taking it easy this week. Time to relax, watch some movies, eat some ice cream, and do some of those tests the doctor said I should do that I never found the time to do before... fun times 😅. Have a great Tuesday 😘 ❤️
Hey everyone! We're back from our trip to Milwaukee. I'm sorry I didn't post while we were out, but it was just impossible due to the tight and extreme schedule we had. I wanted to program three videos for you, but I didn't have time. The trip and the show were great experiences, so I think it was worth it. And the videos didn't run away. Here's the first one, which I shot last Thursday, before the trip. I'm trying a new toy I found that seemed fun... 😜 and let me say it was. From what I've experienced so far, if it worked as well the first time, the third time I use it I'll be moaning all the time. 🤪🤣 Have a wonderful Monday! 😘❤️
Hello guys! Sorry I didn’t post earlier today, we were traveling all day since a little before after midgnight yesterday. We finally arrived at the hotel in Milwaukee and Pridefest welcomed us with a bottle of Kylie Minogue’s Prosecco and a bag of assorted candy. It’s a great start. Now it’s time to prepare for tomorrow’s show. Have a great day ☺️😘😘❤️❤️
Good morning, guys! How about a nice edging session this morning? It'll be a great way to relax after the last bunch of intense posts 😅🍆😜
It took me about a month to decide and write those posts. I think we need more information in the gay community for older guys. There's not much there in the open. It was my urologist who gave me the last push when I had the revision. When I asked him why there was so little good info for our segment of the population on matters of aging related to sex and other body functions, he told me, "Women have every kind of doctor for that, but we men have the tendency to keep those things to ourselves."
I thought about different ways of approaching this. My main issue is that I'm not a doctor, so giving health advice from my position would seem unethical. But then, everybody is an expert on TikTok, so it wouldn't raise any eyebrows, but still, I would feel responsible. Doing a podcast series on YouTube sounds tempting, but the censorship is real. I'm sure that I would have many problems with open social media just by saying the words "erection" or "mature gay," as they don't like older, big gay guys. So I decided to test the waters by posting these two stories here and on my other two subscribers' pages. I really hope it was helpful for any of you. That's my goal from the start.
Now back to rehearsals for one last time! Today it's our last day before flying to Chicago. Have a great Thursday 😘❤️
Good morning guys, yesterday's 🍆 story comes to a happy ending 😜
This is my own experience, if you have similar problems, please visit your urologist.
We left things with me suddenly being unable to have full erections or ejaculate at the beginning of February.
This got me a little worried, so I texted my former urologist and told him what was happening, he told me to do some lab work. My former urologist had been treating my low testosterone with Av-dart (can't put the name here) for several months. He told me it was an estrogen regulator, and that it would also help with my hair (due to side effects from arthritis meds, I had serious hair loss issues from 2017 to 2022). Being Spanish, I followed the doctor's orders and did not question him.
But when I started having all these problems after Beefdip, something clicked in my head. I needed a second opinion. My previous urologist's text response after the lab results was very vague, so I googled another specialist. I went to see him and brought the same labs.
This new urologist took only 5 minutes to tell me that I should start taking testosterone shots every 3 months (something I had asked the other doctor about almost 9 months before). I had a bad experience with testosterone (in pills) back in the early 2000's and friends told me they had bad experiences with the patches and such, so I asked him if it was safe. He told me that these new shots were sort of mini-doses that would trigger the mechanism that should be producing it in my body, that I shouldn't worry, but that we'd have a review in a month. I also had to stop taking Avodart (TBH I had already stopped a week before after the vague answer from the other doctor) and start taking Invictus 5mg (Tadafil) every morning, which would help with the bl-od flow to my penis.
In just one week I saw results, my erection came back and my libido also started to recover (it had been gone for a while). But I was still unable to ejaculate more than a drop. Which was a problem because I needed to do sperm lab studies just in case. I told the doctor and he told me to be patient. We had discussed that the ejaculation problem could very well have a psychological component to it. So I took that into therapy. Not a huge result there, but it made me realize that I was in a lot of tension. So my next step was to try yoga and meditation again. So I set up a yoga and breathing session with someone I know here who's also a therapist and specializes in sexual dysfunction and it was amazing. After two and a half hours I left that place with the little chronic pain in my pelvic area gone, feeling much more centered and relaxed (for your information we only did breathing exercises, I was clothed, nothing out of the ordinary happened there 😅). That moment gave me a reference point for how I should feel, and I have used that memory as a kind of compass ever since. These days, whenever I feel overwhelmed, I light a candle and do my breathing exercises. Breathe in through the nose, exhale slowly through the mouth, 5 to 10 times, eyes closed, and try to clear my mind (counting down from 5 to 1 in your mind while you breathe helps).
And the next day I was able to have sex and I came, not like a fountain, but a little more than a drop. And ever since then it's been a slow but steady road to recovery. I got my revision after the first month, everything went well and I was able to masturbate again (not as much as before) and I'm finding that place in my mind where I can just relax and enjoy the pleasure.
Because in the end (in my case) most of what was preventing me from having sex or being able to finish was that I was in my head, there were too many people there. I just needed to breathe and get back to the basics. I still haven't been able to do the sperm studies, but that's because the last two times I was more focused on enjoying the moment than getting a hold of a vase 💦🤪.
And we will talk about hair loss in another post.
Please go to your doctor, don't self-medicate, and if you don't like what the doctor says, get a second opinion. Advocate for yourself.
I'm sure I've left out a lot of details in trying to be concise, but please, if there's anything you'd like to know, ask away.
Good morning guys, after the tops and bottoms story, let's go back to the Jacuzzi, relax and talk about something that has happened to me in the last few months ☺️
Erections: To give you some context, all my life I have always had easy erections, I would get an erection when I traveled in a car, I would get an erection when I got anxious or nervous, I would get an erection when someone put a camera in front of me... and so on. I even had episodes of priapism, for example one time I was with an erection for five hours that nothing would make it come off, I wasn't even able to come, and in the end it became painful. Another time I was in the Canary Islands one night and didn't want alcohol, so my ex gave me a Red Bull, the second we discovered it had an unexpected side effect on me, I got an erection that wouldn't come down and became visible in my spare summer clothes 🤣
So with all that in mind, the first time I had erection problems was a total surprise to me. I had spent many moments in my life trying very hard not to have an erection (at the doctor's, at the chiropractor's, in locker rooms, on beaches, etc.), and then all of a sudden, when I was 52 or 53, one day I noticed that although I still had an erection, it was not as strong as it had been a week before. Then it happened again and again (I tried to be a top, unsuccessfully) and I decided to go to the urologist. Turns out there was a medication I was taking for my arthritis that was interfering with it (my history with medications and the road to getting a proper arthritis diagnosis is a whole other chapter, so I'll make the long story short). But I did prostate and testosterone tests anyway. My prostate antigen was great, no risk, the prostate size was small and the free testosterone was low, but not much. So the doctor just told me to watch my sugar levels and try to exercise more.
But as if some of it was caused by my mind, just going to the doctor made me feel better and although I wasn't back to full strength, I was about 90% back and considering my age, I felt okay with that.
Fast forward to the end of January this year, I'm 56, Beefdip is about to start, and I've had some pain in the pelvic area for about three months. I went to the doctor again but he said it was probably a harmless infection. He gave me antibiotics, but the pain wasn't completely gone.
Beefdip wasn't a good experience for me this year, I got sick again because of the bad AC and going in and out of places with it, and (unknown to many) I was helping them out again by running social media and communications, something I had been doing as a favor since 2016. Well, this year the shit hit the fan and many other operators decided to do parallel bear events in Puerto Vallarta the same week to try and steal Beefdip's flame, and some of them used very low tactics to get heard. One of the operators with more money hired trolls and all kinds of shitty things online to attack Beefdip and its founder. I had to be on the receiving end of all this and it triggered a lot of past trauma in me (I was bullied for a short period of time in my teens, short but enough to leave a mark in my subconscious) which led me into a PTSD situation once the week was over. I had to jump right into therapy, and one of the first things I noticed is that I was unable to get an erection or have sex at that time.
It was scary, I tell you.
I was very aware that most of my income came from subscriptions and the content that they (you) wanted to see. I was also worried that there was something more serious going on because the pain was increasing. But the therapy helped from the very first session. I noticed that I could get an erection (not a very strong one, but an erection) if I relaxed enough, if I didn't get into my head and start thinking about doomsday scenarios. I was able to regain that ground little by little, but I was not able to come no matter what we tried. And when I did, it was very little, like a drop. I had to go back to the doctor...
And I will continue this story tomorrow. Please let me know if there's anything you'd like me to talk about. I want to go over a lot of things. But I'll try to keep it entertaining as well. Have a great Tuesday 😘❤️
Good morning guys, bottoms up! Time for a cake party 🍰🎊🥳 I'm going to start a series of posts talking about different aspects of my life and how getting older has affected them. I hope they entertain you and maybe even help you. Tops and bottoms: I tried top/bottom for the first time in my life with my first partner when I was about 27 years old. With his help I discovered that I was completely versatile and enjoyed doing both, although between you and me I didn't quite understand what all the fuss was about. It was nice, the intimacy felt great and cozy, but the act itself wasn't as pleasurable (for me) as, for example, a good blowjob. We lived in Valencia at that time and the attitude towards sex in our circles was very natural, no judgment, just go, do whatever you want and have fun. Later I moved to Madrid, to Chueca (I was 29, our relationship had broken up, although we still went back and forth for a year or so. We're still very good friends). Chueca was a thriving "gay village" that in the last few months had begun to attract more and more gay people from all over. There I discovered many things, including bottom shaming, something I just never understood and still puzzles me today. But I didn't care, I still enjoyed it both ways. But over the years, the guys I met were all bottoms and wanted me to be a top, so I began a long streak of years as a top. I don't think anyone topped me again until I was 39 or 40. It was okay, but never a priority for me because it wasn't that fun (and I don't enjoy the mess. Let's leave it there, haha). When I was 41, I had a year of a little bottoming here and there and I also tried my first dildo. It was fun, but I think mostly because it was more comfortable for my back 😅. Then I had another long relationship. He was an occasional bottom but never a top, so I went back to being a top (maybe twice a year haha), even when we opened our relationship, the guys I met always wanted me to be the top. But then fast forward and I met my husband and oh boy, I discovered a new universe in front of me. I don't know if it was the age, my body changing or him, but when I turned 50 all of a sudden I felt a thrill when he was inside me, a lot of pleasure, a kind I never felt before, its like something physically changed in my anus. Then I tried it with a friend and it was the same, great sensation, and then I tried it with a dildo (here, with you, remember?) and it was also great... So what I'd like to say is, never judge anyone's pleasure, accept yours and go with the flow, life is full of surprises and your body will give you a lot of them, changing and evolving. Something that hasn't worked for a long time may start to work. And sometimes the opposite, so enjoy every moment of what you are given. Happy Pride month, have a great Monday 😘 ❤️🏳️🌈
Good morning guys, let's get soaking wet in the Jacuzzi 🛁. After yesterday's video I really need it 😜
I don't know why, but the moment I touch water, I feel complete. I must have been a dolphin in another life haha It always feels great.
It's been a busy week for me, I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety, so much so that I've had trouble remembering my lyrics. But every day I've made a little progress and I'm feeling much better now. Jumping from rehearsals to songwriting helped a lot. And I have some good news about the concert. I will have San Francisco rapper Malleous on stage with me to perform "Shine (The Game Is On)" and Chicago guitarist Gary Guzman will play guitar on many songs (he is the one who recorded the acoustic guitar on "Love Is All That Matters"). It'll be memorable ☺️
Good morning everyone! Let's start the month off with a bang 🐼💦 This happened the other day when we went to this hotel to take pictures, I was lying on the bed and my loving helping hand surprised me, this time more revealing and with a tiny plastic fiber whip in hand. It was my first time experiencing this tickling and teasing play and it felt great, I think we will try it again soon 😜 You can see the aftermath at the end, it was an intense experience 🤪. Happy Pride month, have a great Saturday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys! I think there's room for two in this seat, want to try? 😜 I really want to try this kind of love seat for fucking one of these days. There have been some cool developments and it may happen sooner rather than later, but I'll stop saying anything else because we all know by now what happens when I share plans before they actually happen 😅🤣. And get ready because tomorrow we kick off Pride Month with a bang 🥳 have a great Friday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys, it's #throwbackthursday and I have something special for you, hope you enjoy it as much as I did 🤪💦🍆 This was one of the videos I had to take down when a guy started stealing my content last year, but I've decided to bring it back today. It was a much needed release and as I explain at the beginning, I was a little insecure, but it was the first time I got my groove back after a little crisis in November 2022, something like what has been happening to me again the past few months, only that time it was mostly anxiety, this time it was a little of that and a little of what you get when you get older 😜 I was thinking about making a short video for Instagram and TikTok today explaining one of my daily tricks to deal with anxiety. Lets see if I finally get up the courage to do it 😅 Have a great Thursday! 😘❤️
Good morning guys, in the #wetwednesday tradition, let's enjoy a good dip in the Jacuzzi 💦🦶🏻🐼🦶🏻💦 Today I woke up feeling less beat up from the heat. Last night it rained for the first time in months, which helped a lot. Hopefully (following Guadalajara tradition) this means we'll have these evening storms every day from now on ☺️ Rehearsals continue today, I'm also finishing one of the new songs I'm premiering in Milwaukee, got the guitar parts yesterday, and may take a break after lunch to work on the lyrics for two other songs. I already have 10 new songs for the next album. Exciting 🥳 Happy Wednesday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys, who wants cake for breakfast? 🍰 Come on in, I was waiting for you 🤪 I think the first picture in this set is one of my favorites ever! 🥰 It's one of those moments where light, camera and mood flow together and something happens that feels like magic. I even did a more elaborate edit for a wallpaper I shared on Patreon, you can see part of it at the end. Now let's start the day with a smile ☺️ are you coming? Happy Tuesday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys and foot lovers! Let's start the week soaking head to toe in the Jacuzzi 💦🦶🏻🐼🦶🏻💦. This is the second and last video from the hot tub we shot this time, with a special wink to our foot loving friends. Pics coming soon, and the next video coming this week... well, buckle up 😜 because our beloved "helping hand" has taken a little step further in his game 🤪. Ten days until my Milwaukee Pridefest show. Today it's time for more rehearsals and a little meditation and breathing to deal with anxiety. So happy Monday everyone, let's make this happen 😘 ❤️
Good morning handsome, come to daddy, I have something here for you, they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day... 😜🍌☺️ Hope your week went well. Mine has been one of self-discovery and acceptance (again! it seems to be 2024's theme for me). Coming to terms with serious stuff and learning to let go of situations that are not good for me. I feel like I should really find the strength within myself to share more details, I suspect it might be helpful to others. But there are parts of me that I'm still scared to death to bare, believe it or not. Until then, let's celebrate that we're here and all have a lovely Sunday 😘❤️
Good morning guys, join me in the Jacuzzi for breakfast, I brought cake 🍰😜💦 We took this video last Tuesday on our little escapade to a love motel in the city, and there are more to come 😉. This week has been intense with rehearsals and the release of "Shine", but also dealing with my anxiety and facing personal fear and trauma. I went back to meditation to stop all those toxic thoughts and it worked wonders. Gone from not remembering a lot of the lyrics to remembering them yesterday without any difficulty. It's a lot of mental work though. But I'm confident I'll be able to put on a great show. I just hope they film it! Have a great Saturday ❤️😘❤️
When you're half asleep, chilling and relaxed, but then you hear the door and his footsteps approaching your room... 🥰😜 Good morning guys, love this set of pictures, there was a "love seat" at the motel and we took a few on it, more coming soon 😉. Did you like the new version of "Shine" with Malleous? Let me know, happy Friday 😘 ❤️
Good morning everyone! It's single release day, so let's celebrate it by jumping in the jacuzzi and having a nice relaxing time while listening to the new song 💦😁. Hubby took these pictures just as I was about to post my story here last Tuesday. It was a nice day. Today I'm releasing a single that's near and dear to my heart, it's a new version of my song "Shine" (from the album "All Systems Go") completely reworked with new vocals by San Francisco rapper Malleous and renamed "Shine (The Game Is On)". It's been a while in the making, but I'm super happy because this is how I envisioned the song when I wrote it. I love the album version, but this one is sizzling hot! 🔥 "Shine (The Game Is On)" by Malleous and me is now available for download or streaming everywhere, just search for me on your favorite platform and the single will appear as the latest release (can't share the link here). Please share it with your friends and put it on repeat everywhere hehe Have a shiny Thursday ✨😘 ❤️
Good morning guys! Let's start the day with a nice, warm and long shower, want to join me? 🐼🚿 😜 Yesterday we went to a motel for half the day to take some pictures and videos for you. I'll share more with you later this week. The plan was also to shoot part of a music video for a song I'm releasing tomorrow (surprise!), but when we got to that place it turned out to be under maintenance, so we had to go to another one. I think you'll like it though ☺️ Have a lovely (wet) Wednesday 😘 ❤️
Good morning guys! These are the last pics I took for you after the video last week. I couldn't get enough of that mirror, so I took a moment to enjoy the feeling ☺️
I'm rehearsing every afternoon now. I'm having trouble remembering the lyrics, but I'm hoping that after 18 more rehearsals I'll be okay 😉 . It may seem strange that I forget them because I write my own lyrics, but it's not uncommon when you're creative and constantly working on new stuff. Your brain stays in the present, open to new possibilities, and the past gets put on the shelf. But well, I chose this path, so rehearsing is the way.
Good morning guys, continuing from yesterday's video it's time for ice cream and a little more fun 🍨💦😜 Enjoy! Getting to a certain age can be challenging, guys, more than they let you know. I've even been tempted to make a video or blog about it because, at least for me, it was and still is difficult to find the right information when it comes to how age can affect your sex life and your body. I changed urologist a month ago and I am able to cum again and my erection is back and playful. We still have to find out why the amount of sperm has decreased, but most of the possible serious factors have already been ruled out. If this is something you are interested in, would you like me to elaborate and share with you what I have found works and what does not? Happy Monday 😘 ❤️
