benjaminkoll

Good morning guys! How about we start the weekend with a nic..

Good morning guys! How about we start the weekend with a nice and relaxing massage session? ☺️🤪
This was last January, with my dear friend @aaron_oso 🐻
I'm hoping we can do more when I recover. Today I woke up feeling a bit better. It seems like this is going to be a roller coaster, some good days, some not so good... but eyes on the prize, the plan is to be fully recovered in a few months and feeling sick from time to time is a small price to pay.

Have an awesome weekend 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys! Today I woke up lively and inspired, I wo..

Good morning guys! Today I woke up lively and inspired, I would climb a mountain and scream, or better yet, I think I'll write a new song ☺️🤪🎶

One of the things that still happens from time to time on social media and really surprises me is when people ask if I'm gay. I've been out forever (my whole music career and more), I try to be as open as I can about my life (which I share with my husband), but I'm starting to think some people just don't read the captions on the posts. I guess because of the extreme amount of content, it's hard for them to stop for a moment and read. I really appreciate when you do and reply to my posts, let's keep the conversation going, you've helped me a lot by accepting me and I hope some of what I share helps you (in many ways 😈).

Have a great Thursday 😘 ❤️

Good morning everyone, it's #wetwednesday 💦 let's start the ..

Good morning everyone, it's #wetwednesday 💦 let's start the day with a nice shower 🐼🚿

My first chemo session yesterday went well until it didn't, 3/4 of the way through the drip process I started to feel a strong stabbing pain in my hand that then went down into my forearm... to cut a long story short they had to stop the treatment which is not a bad thing for the first time as they told me afterwards. The pain lasted the rest of the day, and today I woke up with half of it still, so I don't think I'll be able to do much. Also, the pills make me feel full like I am sick. Hopefully that will diminish as I get used to them. If not, I'll take it one day at a time and if possible with a smile. That's why I chose this video today, I would love to jump in a pool or jacuzzi today, I love water!

Have a great day guys 😘 ❤️

"🎼 Will you be my king? ... I'll give you my kingdom 🎶" Good..

"🎼 Will you be my king?
... I'll give you my kingdom 🎶"
Good morning guys, today I woke up thinking about this photo shoot for King, the song in my album Osito. We shot a lot of pictures but only a few made it into the book (available on Amazon). Here's a new edit I made for you today.
I started early in the studio today, first working on the picture and in a few minutes working on a new song. I want to finish the first demo today before I start chemo tomorrow. I have no idea what will happen or how I will feel afterwards, so I'm taking the whole day off. I'll let you know how it goes.
Until then, have a nice Monday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, the weekend is here, why don't we hit the..

Good morning guys, the weekend is here, why don't we hit the road and spend the day in a love motel, wouldn't that be great? 🤪
I'm so excited to start planning our next photoshoots. The healing is going well, but everything still hurts a lot, so I have to be careful. Yesterday I tried to sleep in my bed for the first time since the last surgery and I could only stay there for two hours, I couldn't turn or move. Had to go back to the recliner we bought after the first one. But well, it is what it is, I'll get there.
Until then, I'm going to keep slowly warming up my music skills so I can finish the album and try to stay in a good mood for what comes next.
Have a wonderful weekend 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys! It's Friday, let's go out tonight and mee..

Good morning guys! It's Friday, let's go out tonight and meet at a bar, I'll bring you a snack 😜🤪🍆
OMG how I miss going out to a bar, if you can please go out and have one for me. to two!
I start chemo next Tuesday, 8 cycles, six months. It's a lot of money, but we had to go private, the government option wasn't an option, I have to start treatment right away if we don't want this to happen all over again. The doctor says that even though it's what it is, I might be back to normal soon. Let's hope so 🤞🏻
Until then, go out and enjoy life, Happy Friday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, it's one of those days, want to join me f..

Good morning guys, it's one of those days, want to join me for a little getaway? I'll bring the cake 🍰😈
I'm finally out of stitches and days away from starting chemo. The doctor says I can go back to work when I feel like it, and that the treatment shouldn't have too many annoying side effects, so I'm hopeful...
My plan is to work on a new hardcover version of the book from my first album, and also to finish the new album I have been working on. And as soon as I feel comfortable with my scars, I'll start making new content for here. I would also like to do a live thing, but I have to find the right time so you can all be there.
Until then, have a nice Thursday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, today I need to be like this ASAP, any vo..

Good morning guys, today I need to be like this ASAP, any volunteers? 😜🤪💦😈
Found these pictures that perfectly illustrate how I would like to be today instead of having to go to another doctor's appointment. The good thing is that the stitches are coming out today ( 🤞🏻 ) and that will make my life easier until I start chemo. It also turns out that I need to do more tests before that... it's a never ending story.
Have a great Wednesday 😘❤️

Good morning everyone! Here are all the pics from the studio..

Good morning everyone! Here are all the pics from the studio yesterday, uncut and cheeky as you like them 😜
As you can see from the pictures, I sneaked into the studio in the morning to lay down a few ideas that I have been working on in my head for the past few days. As promised, I was out for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon watching "The Perfect Couple" on Netflix (if I had to give my opinion, it would be visually and technically stunning, story and directing "meh").
Oh! And the answer to "why naked?" apart from what you all here know by now (that I love to work and record some songs naked in the studio from time to time), this time it was doctor's orders so my scars would heal quickly and nicely.
Well, let's do it. Today (in about two hours) I have another doctor's appointment with another oncologist to discuss another chemo option, this one with the government health system here in Mexico. I'm hoping for the best.
Have a good Tuesday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys! Wishing you a good start of the week with..

Good morning guys! Wishing you a good start of the week with these 3 pics from a nice day we spent in a nearby hotel ☺️
This is going to be a busy week for me. I have two options for chemotherapy, I'll get the dates and budget for the first option by email today, and tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment to talk about the other option, which will (hopefully) be subsidized by the state. And then on Wednesday all the remaining stitches will come out, so I'll finally be able to lead a more normal life and maybe even do some content for here. I am really looking forward to it, believe me, I need some fun!!!! 🤪
Until then, I'm going to slowly start working on my music again, a few hours a day.
Have a nice Monday 😘❤️

Good morning guys, let's start the weekend playing with this..

Good morning guys, let's start the weekend playing with this toy. It was a little small for me but still exciting 😜
This week has been kind of an emotional rollercoaster for me, I'm looking forward to spend the afternoon with a friend that's coming to watch movies and forget about everything until Monday.
Wishing you a great Saturday 😘❤️

Good morning guys, nothing like starting the day with a litt..

Good morning guys, nothing like starting the day with a little hot tub fun, hop in! 💦😜🚿
The first part of the stitches came out yesterday as promised, but the second part will have to wait another week. It's good that I had already planned for an extra week of rest at home.
We also got the bill for the last surgery yesterday, and the surgeon went over budget by a little more than $1,000. Thanks to your support we will be able to pay for it (I don't have insurance). Thank you 🙏🏻
Now in about an hour we have another doctor's appointment to talk about chemo. Fingers crossed, I'm hoping we'll be able to get help paying for this from the state or something🤞🏻
Have a good Thursday 😘❤️

Good morning guys, it's #wetwednesday so let's have some fun..

Good morning guys, it's #wetwednesday so let's have some fun in the tub, hop in! 💦😜🚿
Stitches from last week's lung surgery are coming out later today 🎉 can't wait. Recovery is going well, but I'm still not able to do much, I can tell my body needs the rest. But that's ok, I have accepted that I have to be patient. But I'm so excited to be able to work on the new songs.... patience 😅
Until then, I'll keep watching "For All Mankind" and posting here and there. Have a nice day 😘❤️

Good morning guys, it's #tummytuesday time ☺️ Here are anoth..

Good morning guys, it's #tummytuesday time ☺️
Here are another 3 pics edited by Evert from 2 years ago.
Not much news here, just resting and following the doctor's orders until my appointment tomorrow to have the stitches removed. Recovery is going well and I am feeling a little better every day, but I have to agree with the doctor, this one requires more rest.
Hope you're having a good week, Happy Tuesday 😘❤️

May I have 3 minutes of your time? Let's play together 😅😜🍆💦 ..

May I have 3 minutes of your time? Let's play together 😅😜🍆💦
Found this video and thought you would enjoy it 🤪

Recovery is going slow but steady, a little painful at times but nothing unbearable. Still need to rest until next Wednesday though, so I’ll keep watching “For All Mankind” (an Apple TV series with some bear friends working on it in different capacities), today I’ll start season 3.
Have a nice Monday 😘❤️

Hey guys! Let's remember today this naughty outtake from my ..

Hey guys! Let's remember today this naughty outtake from my "Can I Be Loved" music video. It was a fun experiment 😜😈🍆💦.
You can also find the uncensored version of the video here. I still have the "all nude" version of the video on my list to edit. I'm hoping to be able to do that soon.

Recovery is going slow but steady, no problems. If anything a bit boring. But hey, no news is good news as they say. Have a great weekend 😘❤️

Good morning guys, let's start the weekend with a cheeky str..

Good morning guys, let's start the weekend with a cheeky stretching session 🤪😈.
These are some edits Evert did (he was the photographer on these sets) that I'm not sure I've shared before, mostly because I thought my eyes looked weird 😅, I don't like heavy edits on my face. But I know you love tight whiteys, so enjoy 😜
Recovery is going well but slow, a little uncomfortable because I can't seem to find a nice place to rest, but I'll get there. Luckily there are no complications.
Have a great Friday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys! Today it’s pup appreciation day somewhere..

Good morning guys! Today it’s pup appreciation day somewhere and I want to celebrate it sharing this set of pics 😁🐶🐾 I want to re edit the first one into a nice wallpaper, I’ll do it when I recover fully.
About that: I’m home! The doctor discharged me yesterday afternoon and I’m home. I need to rest until next Wednesday when I’ll see him again to remove sutures, but everything went great and although it still hurts this is more bearable than the recovery from the first surgery. I get the feeling I’ll be fine pretty soon. But not today, today I need to stay still and rest.
Thank you so much for your support and friendship, you’re the best ☺️ have a nice Thursday 😘❤️

Good morning guys! It all went well and here are a few candi..

Good morning guys! It all went well and here are a few candid pics from yesterday evening as I did my first walk around the room 😜 I know you like cake in the morning 🎂🤪
I still don’t know if I’ll be going home later this afternoon or if I will need to stay one or two more days. I’ll keep you posted. This surgery was still 3 hours, and although I feel much better than when I finished the first one, it hurts a lot to breath sometimes. But I’m happy, I feel energized.
Have a great day (is it Wednesday?) 😘❤️

Good morning guys, let's start the week with a long training..

Good morning guys, let's start the week with a long training session, but with a happy ending 🤪🍆 😈
Not sure why OF hid this video long time ago, but here it is, I'm pretty sure many of you didn't have the chance to see it. And this was fun, a lot 😜

I decided to take the weekend off to relax and get ready for the surgery tomorrow, and it was the best thing I could do. No computer, no work, no nothing. Today I feel rested and that's what the doctor ordered ☺️

Happy Monday, I'm not sure if I'll be able to post here tomorrow before the surgery, but if not I'll keep you posted as soon as I feel better 😘 ❤️

Good morning folks! This honey tastes so good... nothing lik..

Good morning folks! This honey tastes so good... nothing like bear honey, want to try some? 🍯😋
Just found these awesome pics from Evert. We did some great sets together, as soon as I recover I'll call him again.
About that: I'm having surgery next Tuesday at 9am. Honestly, I'm counting the days 😅 I'd say the third worst thing about this situation is the waiting.
In the meantime, I've been working on two new songs. I now have 10 finished demos for the new album, I just need to record the final vocals, something I think I'll do this time like the old times, when everything is ready, I'll start recording 3 to 4 songs vocals every day here or in another studio, just to focus on that. An exciting plan.
Have a great Friday 😘 ❤️

Hey guys, some of my faves from this set for the last post i..

Hey guys, some of my faves from this set for the last post in this series ☺️
I was finally able to work on some music yesterday and will be doing so again today, most likely recording the final vocals for some of the new songs. Had the crazy idea to make a "quick" music video using chroma key to add backgrounds, but can't decide which song to make.
My next surgery will be next week, I'm waiting for confirmation on the day and time. I'll let you know.
Have a happy Wednesday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, wouldn't it be nice to stay in bed all da..

Good morning guys, wouldn't it be nice to stay in bed all day long? Come with me, let's snuggle and have some fun 🥰
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but lately, whenever there's no drama, I'm weirdly horny 😜 I haven't made any pics or videos because I'm still a little self-conscious about my new scars (not big, but well, still healing), but I'm telling you, if this next surgery doesn't happen before Monday, I might be creating new content with whoever knocks on my door 🤪
The good news today is that we have the money to go ahead with the surgery. We're waiting on a date. Next is securing funds for recovery and chemo, but one step at a time. This is like a marathon, it's not about the run, it's about being well enough at the finish line to be able to keep going.
Have a great Tuesday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, let's start the week relaxed and go back ..

Good morning guys, let's start the week relaxed and go back to the sauna ☺️
It was kind of a grim weekend for me, we got the budget for my next surgery and we're short. So we have to find more money, but I'm optimistic because the doctor gives us a lot of options. I am hoping to get it done today so I can have the surgery before the weekend.
In the meantime I have some good news, the "All Systems Go" book, completely rewritten and renamed "A Visual Exploration" is now on Amazon and hopefully will stay there. I fixed all the little printing issues and this is the definitive version, now in glossy hardcover, a beautiful collector's item with a good amount of extra pictures this time around uncensored and fully explicit 😈.
Happy Monday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, ready for a little wrestle? lets start th..

Good morning guys, ready for a little wrestle? lets start the weekend with a cuddle session 😜.

I found the first three pics the other day, I've never shared them before, they're from the day Qbo brought me this singlet I had to wear at a Beefdip party, I was the dj. The last three are the "official" pics, remixed for you ☺️

Hope your weekend is off to a good start, have a lovely Saturday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, the weekend is here, let's go back to the..

Good morning guys, the weekend is here, let's go back to the sauna! 🐼🚿
We took these pictures in a love motel here in GDL. The place was a complete surprise, this suite included a heated pool, two Jacuzzis and this big sauna. I've been tempted to go back and shoot a music video there for a while now, just need to find the moment (and some volunteers to come along ☺️).

I'm still waiting for the doctor to set a date for my next surgery, I'll let you know when I get an update. I will have to stay in the hospital for two days and then spend two weeks recovering. Unfortunately we had to cancel Biggerbash and the shooting of a music video that was supposed to take place there. But there will be more opportunities. I'm sure.
Happy Friday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, let's celebrate #throwbackthursday with a..

Good morning guys, let's celebrate #throwbackthursday with another juicy cake breakfast 🍰🤪.
The first two pictures were my favorite butt pics for a while until we took the one I shared with you in June, this particular photo shoot was at a hotel in Mexico City in 2020, the afternoon before my showcase at the Mysteria Origins festival. A great show and a strange set of circumstances. It was October, we were in the middle of the pandemic, but it was perfectly organized to avoid any contact. It was open air, people were in their cars and there were distance signs everywhere. Seems surreal to remember, but I can say that no one in the organization got anything, and that's great.
Back to health, yesterday was a tough day emotionally for me, but a relaxed afternoon, a good night's sleep and your messages and support got me back on my feet. I'm ready to fight another day 💪🏻
Have a great Thursday 😘❤️

Good morning folks, it's #wetwednesday, so let's bring back ..

Good morning folks, it's #wetwednesday, so let's bring back this happy memory from 2020, nothing like a bear drying off after frolicking at the pond ☺️
I don't know if I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but here goes: I need another surgery, the lung lump turned out to be cancer as well. The good news is that it's apparently not a complicated surgery because it's very localized and small, and I might be able to get in and out of the hospital the same day. But it's still fucked up. I have to find money to keep paying for all this (I don't have insurance in Mexico) and it's stressful.
If you want to help, please stay subscribed, tip, add my songs to your playlists on streaming services, or buy my merch and stuff on my website. Or just keep being wonderful. Your comments and messages always make my day.
Happy Wednesday 😘 ❤️

Good morning everyone, let's start the day with a cake fest!..

Good morning everyone, let's start the day with a cake fest! 🍰😜
I had only shared a few of these before, and there are more on this session, I'll get back to it one of these days ☺️
Today is a tricky day, I have the (that) doctor appointment this afternoon where we'll find out what's next. I've been anxious since the last results came back yesterday. I haven't read them, we decided it's best to let the doctor tell us what's what. So keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.
Until then, I'm going to keep working on the new song, do a little exercise and maybe cook a paella to keep my mind off things 😅.
Have a nice Tuesday 😘 ❤️

Good morning guys, how about a nice and long edging session ..

Good morning guys, how about a nice and long edging session to start the week? 😜 I'll bring a little toy too 🍆🤪
I just found this video in my vault here, and it says it's not on any post 😳 If I'm not mistaken, this is the first edging video I've ever made. Oh, the mysteries of technology...
Another week starts, I just finished the demo of a new song yesterday, a nice and sexy ballad. I will finish mixing it and then go back to the "All Systems Go" book and fix all the typos. I hope to have the book back online by the weekend.
Hope your week is off to a good start, have a wonderful Monday 😘 ❤️