After I edit and upload the orgasmathon video I’m going to take a chill pill and answer all 150 of my messages T^T I mean it this time lol
I will have zero anxiety to hold me back 💓 thank you for your patience, i really don’t know why I let it overwhelm me.
I talk to my therapist about it and she says it’s because of abusive past experiences and my major fear of disappointing people.
So if it’s already been a day and I haven’t replied, it’s like I already failed so the fear of facing it builds and builds.
WHEN IN REALITY IT’S USUALLY JUST YOU GUYS GASSING ME UP OR NEEDING A VIDEO LINK.
😡 @ myself.
I love what I do, but it truly does not go smoothly with a mind that so often shifts it’s comfort zones and ability to be personable.
The point of taking meds to answer my inbox is pretty much exposure therapy, when I do it like this with every message I’m like “see, nothing bad happened”. And it feels good and etches out that new neural pathway toward accomplishment and my reward center.
But sometimes bad things do happen, and sometimes I do let people down and I hate that.
But I’ll never stop working on it, I plan on being 💯 during January and starting with a clean slate as a Christmas gift to myself💗
Just reading that gives me good feels :’3
WELL OKAY💗
If even 50 of you show up that’d make me so happy :’3
How about 5-8 pm PST? I’m excited now :’3
Fingers crossed they’ve sorted out streaming since our last attempt where nobody could get in 😭
If it messes up I’ll go on MFC, but I’d rather keep it exclusive here for my real ones😌💗
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A Christmas story 🤪
Adding flowers and keychains tmrw💓
Would you guys want to spend some time together on cam on Xmas eve?
Idk how many of you will be around or if you’re quarantining or what, but I’m gonna be at home so I’d love to drink some baileys and do silly sexy stuff with you guys if ya want some holiday cheer uwu
New fuck machine is set up and ready to go OwO
My only regret is not getting the tip activated one >.> (found out after I purchased), still leagues better than my old one and I can just turn the dial myself buttttt, technology 🥺🥺 oh whale.
Getting a lil pink Santa hat and finishing my tree so I can send out the vid by Xmas eve 🙈
Update for y’all that your girl is back and can actually keep to her word this time :’3
Hell week is over, I still feel pretty unstable but am feeling like a high functioning ho and I am in LOOOVE with the feeling 😭💓
Thank you for the feedback and love on my video y’all 😭
As you can probably tell I’ve been extremely on and off with whether or not I’m feeling myself. Im almost completely weaned off of lexapro (yay for multiple orgasms again, nay for having zero stability).
I’m also doing a lot of reprocessing in therapy lately and some days I wake up renewed and grateful, and some days I just feel like sludge.
But I wanna make it up to you T^T
If your sub ends between the 12-20th of December and you don’t have rebill on, DM me for a free 1 week voucher 💗
The feed hasn’t been very lit since like mid November so I wanna make sure you don’t miss out on my upswing, which I always hit eventually and drown ya in the yiddies and kitty ;3💓
I’m very grateful for you being here and appreciating me and I just wanna keep ya happy.
I should be able to stay on track this week with all my ducks in a row and a hot look every day, so don’t give up on me k🥺💓
So many people have been wanting a full length facial video, and I keep teasing it and want to make one but I want my skin to be perfect if it’s in HD and it just hasn’t been cooperating 🙈
Doing lots of masks and self care so I can make one tomorrow or Friday, enjoy this throwback bust til then 😈
I’ll be 100% back on Thursday y’all!💗
I know that’s family day for a lot of you, but at least you’ll have lots of sexy shit to come back to ;3
I’m in quarantine for another 10 days so I’ve got tiiiime, I’m getting tested on Friday and again the next week at the end of the incubation period.
I do have a cough rn, but I’m pumping myself with vitamin c and zinc and oregano oil and hoping for the best.
The reason I’m not making content for a few more days is because I can’t shower and I feel DISGUSTINGGG.
I shower twice a day sometimes because I like to feel clean and warm, so this is to~~rture for me and reminds me of life when I was severely depressed .-.
I’m still ~detailing the whip~ from head to toe, but it just ain’t the same. And if I don’t feel like a minx I simply can not film myself :’3
All my tattoos are sealed in saniderm right now and even though they say it’s water proof, I ALWAYS get water trapped underneath. That’s how my arm piece got infected in Italy and landed me in the hospital, so I am extremely paranoid now.
My backpiece is impossible for me to avoid if I shower so yes...
But I can take the saniderm off of it on Thursday and will be good to go 🙏🏻😌
I’ll be wearing a cardigan and thigh highs on main feed for the next week so tatty daddy’s still get the first peak.
I was too bloody and swollen while I was there to make content so yes o_o Thank you for being patient with me and my body mod escapades :p
Friendly reminder that I’m out of town and in a lot of pain when I have downtime, and pretty zapped from chatting with people irl since I’ve been here.
I promise I’ll get to my inbox, I just want to be able to be genuinely present when responding, thank you for being patient 😭
(And if it’s just for content I’ll try to skim quickly and get that sent out tonight)
I have a special psa to send out for tatty daddy club alsoooo so watch for that 💖
I meant to spam you guys with a bunch of post-shower siegey this morning, but I was in a rush to drive to north Florida and spend the day with my best friend and her bby.
I love being an auntiiiEEEE
I got to go ham and spoil him today because y’all spoil me, so thank you uwu
/wholesome
SEXY STUFF COMIN NAO💗💗
THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to this!!!! ^O^
You can still tip 10$ for the tattoo tour/cum til December 1st (should be healed up enough by then to show em off good and proper)
November faves can also be tipped for until December 1st!
I feel such a sense of accomplishment when these goals are completed, and so much gratitude my cheeks could fall off :’3
YOU’RE MAKIN DREAMS HAPPEN HERE, PEOPLE💗
Don’t pinch me please 😌☝🏻
Thank you thank you thank you ^O^
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