After I edit and upload the orgasmathon video I’m going to t..
Added 2020-12-24 05:25:37 +0000 UTCAfter I edit and upload the orgasmathon video I’m going to take a chill pill and answer all 150 of my messages T^T I mean it this time lol I will have zero anxiety to hold me back 💓 thank you for your patience, i really don’t know why I let it overwhelm me. I talk to my therapist about it and she says it’s because of abusive past experiences and my major fear of disappointing people. So if it’s already been a day and I haven’t replied, it’s like I already failed so the fear of facing it builds and builds. WHEN IN REALITY IT’S USUALLY JUST YOU GUYS GASSING ME UP OR NEEDING A VIDEO LINK. 😡 @ myself. I love what I do, but it truly does not go smoothly with a mind that so often shifts it’s comfort zones and ability to be personable. The point of taking meds to answer my inbox is pretty much exposure therapy, when I do it like this with every message I’m like “see, nothing bad happened”. And it feels good and etches out that new neural pathway toward accomplishment and my reward center. But sometimes bad things do happen, and sometimes I do let people down and I hate that. But I’ll never stop working on it, I plan on being 💯 during January and starting with a clean slate as a Christmas gift to myself💗 Just reading that gives me good feels :’3
