Happy New Year everyoneeee...✌️🙃 I've been wanting to touch..

Happy New Year everyoneeee...✌️🙃 I've been wanting to touch base for quite some time now, so my apologies for the long winded greeting.... First I want to thank everyone for the support I've received the past couple years, but even more importantly, the patience everyone has had. I am unbelievably grateful, to everyone who has stayed with me, even in my absence and silence. I want that to be clear. If you've been following me for some time, here or elsewhere, there is a good chance you have at least some idea of what I've been going through. Without giving excuses, I've been trying to find the words to express the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social toll it's had on me and every aspect of my life. I've felt like I've been running a never ending, directionless, marathon over eggshells, lego blocks, broken glass, and booby traps (no pun intended). Hardly able handle my personal affairs, I have obviously not shared or been present for quite some time. It has been an unimaginably scary, lonely, and tiresome journey over the past few years for me. I have been trying to catch up with everyone, but admittedly because of my absence, the message cache has been...well, a tad overwhelming (which I suppose is a positive thing because it means so many do still care and I haven't screwed up *TOO* too bad 😅?) But it also is not a quick, easy or small task. I am doing my best to respond to my messages, but I do want to be clear that my head has essentially been in a bingo cage for 4 years, and my anxiety has been a massive little monster on my shoulders. This possibly sounds like an unnecessary rambling excuse, but I haven't had a clue where to begin, or how to say anything since I've hardly been able to comprehend any of it myself. How does one effectively and succinctly explain the unexplainable, or squeeze the details of the past few years into a nutshell? Anyhow... As I am settling my footing, readjusting my bearings, rekindling my confidence, and rediscovering my voice, I wanted everyone to know I am still here, and plan to be here more. I've never been one to back down, run away, or give up. From the bottom of my heart, (and pockets), I truly would not have made it through the past 4 years if it weren't for all of you, and I cannot express how grateful I am. I look forward to not only feeling myself again, but finding a newer self in me this year, and of course, sharing that with everyone. Not a ghost, just learning how to be an angel🙏