🪷Opening Up🪷 Sex has and will always be more than just a ph..

🪷Opening Up🪷 Sex has and will always be more than just a physical experience. To me at least, sex can be a very overwhelming, overstimulating experience. Most of the time the input to my senses is a welcomed experience. The mystery of what’s going to happen next, allowing hands to grip my meat, tongue tasting me inch by inch, teeth using my skin as canvas, the internal and external pleasure(& pain depending on the type of fun we wanted that day👀) But as someone who struggles with emotional burnouts often, My mental health affects my ability to want to fully have sex, but that doesn’t always mean I don’t experience arousal on those days. Recently, I opened up to my partner about this. How sometimes sex can be mentally/emotionally taxing, but masturbating can also be too much to handle on my own. It’s the orgasm without feeling loved or connected to anyone. Parental and religious trauma have lead to overwhelming guilt and disgust - especially on bad mental health days- from pleasuring myself alone. Truly, I just need her. The need to be taken care of by her in a judgment free space, where I don’t need to think about reciprocating or really think about having sex at all. The need to feel her, hear her; but not deal with the mental part of fully having sex. Toys help with this. Toys take away the unexpected part of sex for me. I can be present with my sensations and release all my emotional weights that have been building up in my head & beating down on my body as well. I can feel the love and care from her, co regulating my nervous system, and then she’s there with me after, providing the aftercare, the emotional security I need to come down from my high. It is a highly vulnerable experience, but I truly recommend truly it if you have a person that you trust with yourself in that state. It can be a spiritual experience bonding with a person in that way. If you’ve read this far I appreciate you being on this journey of sexual exploration and healing with me & with us.