Todays outfit was hella hobo š¤£ I didnāt do make up or any wi..
Added 2021-09-10 02:02:43 +0000 UTCTodays outfit was hella hobo š¤£
I didnāt do make up or any wig stuff but I still wanted to take record of my hair length cuz it looks so different everyday! š¼š¼
Today was the first day in many many many months where I did so much of anything š¤£
I spent a lot of time just laying around in bed doing meditations and listening to some woo woo podcasts. š¤£
I have a very hard time sitting still sometimes I always want to be engaging in something that is challenging or stimulating my mind, not so much just consuming information lol.
I feel like there is a huge piece of my life quality missing now that I cannot go live to play music š¤£ but Iām slowly coming to terms with reality.
This is such a very strange time in my life lol.
Itās the very first time I find myself completely responsible for what I do everyday now as far as my ājobā š¤£ which is something I always wanted since the first time I experienced what itās like having someone else be my boss š¤”š¤”š¤”š¤”š¤”š¤”š¤”
I was begging for freedom and some kind of proof that I could do all of what I enjoy and make a living doing it, now That Iāve had it, and sorta lost it all; I am in such a weird space. Im questing my entire lifeās direction but I do that just about every 3 weeks lmao and I know that overthinking does nothing but cause more emotional strain.
Iām trying to surrender to the reality of this moment even though there is no real proof of it resolving itself on its own anytime soon. Taking breaks is very hard lol. I like knowing that I am making money and adding and sharing value to the world now I feel incapable of it to some degree.
But I know there is significance in it.
I just donāt see it lol.
Just letting the universe have her way with me
