So when I asked for funding to help give me something to do ..

So when I asked for funding to help give me something to do in May or so this year, I wanted fabric in order to make dresses that I had in mind. This is one of them!! I made them in JULY.. and then my ADHD kicked my ass the whole time until JUST NOW, where I JUST closed my editing software, after rending this. I have made a total of 3 things with the fabric you helped me afford, and this is one of three. I decided to record and include the whole process of how it was made so you can see how something can take a long time to make, and to show you what I got, and to show you how I put it to use.
THANK YOU for those who did offer me money to give myself something to do to distract from my depression. The holidays are going to suck so bad for me the next few years, and especially this one. Sorry I have been so quiet.
When you have ADHD that you can't medicate due to another illness that makes it impossible to predict how medication is going to react to your system and more often times than not, any medication causes damaging side effects.. so you CAN'T medicate the ADHD... you sort of sit there and loathe the fact you didn't do something you felt like was TIMELINE to do, in a certain order, thanks to the autism.. it causes a clog in my brain. I can't post anything until this one thing is done.. but my adhd won't let me do it.. so then I get a backlog all due to my autism and ADHD fighting one another..
The autism tells me I have to post in chronological order.. the adhd sees that I have a few things to do.. and then shuts down and won't let me do the thing I need to post next, in order to post the next things, and then it piles up, and the ADHD gets overwhelmed, postponing the backlog, and so on and so on.. and then it takes months.. and here I am posting something I made in July... in December. Now I have a backlog of things to post. I made MORE than just the dresses!!! Finally now that I am done with the editing of these three projects... I may finally post the rest of the things I did this year. Hopefully.. HOPEFULLY.. the ADHD does not suddenly go "uugghhh that's too much stuff idk what to do with it all.. maybe shutting down is a good idea until we can figure it out.."
Fuck I hate having ADHD sometimes. It has it's benefits.. but god, the cons can get on my nerves in comparison to the benefits of the pros.