What makes you feel intimacy and connection? I feel intimate and close with non-sexual physical touch and deep conversations where I get to learn about their point of view and beliefs. The little thoughtful things make me feel connected, when they just randomly call to hear your voice and check up on you, when they just decide to bring you your favorite drink or snack because they thought of you and wanted to see your smile.
According to statistics the average American will have the most sex around the age 25. I absolutely do not fit that statistic, I am having the most sex right now at age 29. Anyone else outside of this statistic or is it just me?
I can't even tell you the amount of dating profile bios I have read along the lines of "I don't know why I am on here" and approaches to dating that are so negative and just defeated. It feels like dating has become a chore that no one wants to do but they still want the outcome. And I want to share some things I have learned from not only experience, but also from my desire to be a complete sponge and absorb knowledge.
From what I understand, we live in a world full of pain and traumatic experiences. We love to live in the past and hold on to our previous hurt. We love to approach new situations cautiously and with the desire to avoid any more pain and being vulnerable. That is perfectly human. It's scary. We all do it, that is our survival mode making sure we are okay. I think the problem stems from the mindset. We romanticize relationships through media, and have allowed society to dictate how 'the perfect' relationship should be and look like. The truth is, there is no perfect relationship and contrary to popular belief there is no such thing as your significant other never hurting you. I have been through my fair share of shit and I tell you what, this was incredibly challenging for me to accept and normalize. Your significant other wields the power to hurt you more than anyone else, they know so much about you, you are vulnerable with them, you trust them. At the end of the day, they are only human and all humans make mistakes, even those that could hurt the ones they love the most. It's not about never being hurt again, it's about finding someone you truly vibe with and can be your complete and authentic self around them. Someone who will fully accepts you at all your faults and flaws and will encourage growth and strength. We are human, we are on a journey to figure out life and ourselves. So if I could only give out one piece of advice, it would be to embrace yourself and take the risk from a different point of view and mindset. Get out there, go on dates, be awkward, be bold, be nervous, shine bright.
You're taking someone out on a date, describe the perfect date scenario in your mind. Can you think of the perfect date scenario of the person you are taking out?
Many people that I've seen struggle with self love. Once upon a time I was full of self loathing and hatred. I was incredibly hard on myself and would beat myself up over the smallest things. I was so angry, but yet all I did was suppress my anger until I would blow up at myself. To be honest, I don't even know when I started to make the switch. It was an incredibly slow process, but also felt like it was overnight. Small changes in my choices and purposefully being kind to myself when I was anything but in a kind mood. I had to stop myself and become aware of everything I thought and said to myself. I also had to unlearn some of my mindset processes. Such as being out in public by myself is lonely or somehow bad. Now I can easily take myself out on dates and do me without a care in the world <3 It is a process well worth the work, I can promise you that.
Sometimes we try to be perfect in an imperfect world. We seek acceptance from those who would confirm what you believe on the inside about yourself. What we see on the outside is simply a mirror of what is on our inner vibration. "Be the change you wish to see in the world"