I’ve been a little bit quiet as a mouse recently 🐭 as I’ve been burrowed into my books re-learning absolutely absurd maths rules before uni starts again in October - I’m being a very good girl and getting my little 3-month headstart 🤓
Tell me tell meeeee… what should my next shot I share with you be? Which body part should I get all up-close to? 😜 I have an absolutely class wireless DSLR camera remote so I can prop my huge good quality camera up and snap some high-res dirtiness! (Which will, obviously, be unblurred on my NSFW page here: @melkimbrown where if you ask nicely, I’ll show you how I treat my girthy silicone friend 😎)
👋🏻 Just your friendly neighbourhood paintable canvas reporting for duty to be dripped-on! 🥺 pleeeease!
Today I just got my first-ever parking fine through the post! Happy Monday, huh! 😅 I overstayed my welcome by 18 minutes accidentally on Monday (heatwave day! 🥵) and got caught by a camera, seemingly! £60 I’ve been charged when I could be spending that £60 on a new toy for me to ride! Devastated! 😭 Why must I have the time-keeping abilities of a… - well actually I can’t think of anything that has worse time-keeping than me, sooo 😬 like, I have a genuine mental problem with dates and times, I feel vilified for my unfunctioning brain 😂
@melkimbrown
LOOK HOW WELL MY BUTT IS HEALING ✨
It’s almost as if I never used that left peach cheek as a battering ram between me and that evil drill press 😎 Tis almost in the past!
This morning I am reminiscing over last night’s horrendous cat fur and primer paint induced fiasco 🥲 So yesterday I spent aaaaaages putting some primer paint on each kitchen cupboard (doing a meticulous job if I say so 🤓 before the onslaught of trying to choose a shade of grey oh my goodness).
Then, here in sunny Newcastle it started raining (yessss! 💪🏻 Finally!) so I let Cat Benatar in to dry off a little before ousting her out again about an hour later to go back across the garden to her real home. Very cute bundle of black fluff. 🖤
A few hours later I’m back in the kitchen with the lights on and the floor looks jarringly different - like practically looks marbleised. It dawns on me, Cat Benatar’s foot prints are absolutely EVERYWHERE because foolish me didn’t clean out the tray you dip the roller brush in properly (if at all - I wouldn’t know if I’d even tried to clean it prior, it’s basically empty now courtesy of her feets?!). I spent 2 hours minimum last night frantically trying to scrub this awful pink-tinged beige primer colour off every square inch off the floor last night before it dried beyond salvation and made it look like I store loose porridge and pâté all over the ground. My neck hurts. My knees hurt. These are not the reasons I would have chosen if I could have picked a culprit myself to feel the sore effects of being on all fours for so long.
Luckily, she never dang well cleans herself because she is a scruffy cutie and no doubt the rain will have rinsed her (chaotic) little paws so she won’t have ingested anything… that dang cat 🥲
Nude timeline and really rubbish private banter from me at @melkimbrown 😎 I also lurve private videos soooooo at least if my jokes are rubbish, I can coerce you to make a mess to make up for it.
I do wish I could say that I’m this awkward ONLY because I’m on camera but in fact, this is 100% just how I honestly am 😬 if you’ve spoken to me in-person, I’m sure you can clarify 🥲 I’m also slightly more scatterbrained than usual (impossible, I know!) because it’s been absolutely roasting hot here and U.K. houses aren’t equipped for this heat AND I got my Uni results back for the whole year and I kinda did better than I expected 🥺
Have a try-on video with my white lacy bodysuit! I’m toying with popping it onto my site at some point - I’m trying to de-lingerie-hoard 😂
I’m sad this video crops out my huge weird chicken statue I bought a while back purely because it’s eyes are placed so mad; one is above it’s beak and one is practically on its neck 🥴 they look deranged and I love them.
Always nude stuff without judgemental cats at @melkimbrown
My favourite ever lingerie brand just started this YouPay function where you can add some things to a cart and someone can anonymously buy it for you (not sure if you can add gift notes; I hope you can!) - look what arrived through the post 🌻😭🧡 I can now BECOME the (grateful) bee! 🐝
Ducking and diving from the sun; I have my methods 😎 Cower behind some chiffon curtains and get hydrated with water and my bodyweight in espresso sent to the room.
Mind, I came back from Scotland and it feels like I’m going to sleep forever- bear with me whilst I pretend I can handle things.. be right back.. Thankyou 😂
In the meantime- is my waist grabbed first or my ankles? 🥺
Mega tame post today! I bet you’re actually secretly relieved I’m not flashing my 32C’s or bright pink bits around today 😝 I’m giving you a break from my body! Haha!
I really wanna have some shots in this barely-existent bodysuit outside! I’ve not done any public flouncing in a long time 🥺 wah!
Aforementioned floozy posts here : @melkimbrown
🥭 good morning my sweet! How bright is this see-through bodysuit! I don’t think I’ll be blending into the shadows at night with this on, like!
I find it such a shame that I’m doing all these stretch-tests on all the vital areas of my lingerie on an almost-daily basis to check I can keep the lingerie on at the same, only for you to never come over and make use of these strategically-stretchy successful findings! How many more signals do I need to send that I am ready?! 🥲
Everything uncensored @ @melkimbrown 😎
24 degrees in Newcastle 🔥 it’s just too hot for this (very pretty) bra… way way way too hot. Anyone wanna chivalrously remove my matching thong? So I don’t overheat, obviously.
Todays shameful attire is this ridiculous green dress 😅 uhhhhm!
Scroll right for a 5 minute video of me and my only (😭😭😭) friend (it’s a silicone knob! 😂) playing in it! Well, a girl can pretend to have pals, huh 😂
I absolutely adore these tights but as soon as I got back in the house I’ve conjured a hole in my thigh 🥲 I didn’t even cause a hole in them when I was playing and insert things that do not belong, rummaging in my tool bag, or leaning on the sawtable whilst I enjoy myself but I put a hole in them WHEN I SAT ON THE COSY, SOFT SETTEE IN THE LIVING ROOM. what even.
As I type this I am absolutely whacked off my noggin on 3 double espressos in this past hour - which is a big rookie mistake when I’m trying to glue sides of a big box together! It feels like I’m trying to balance a house of cards in the wind 😂
Box photo updates pending - when I stop being a speedy silly billy 😝
Is this classed as “party at the front, business underneath” or visa versa?! 🤔
I’m very very very sleepy this morning after being up until like 4am constantly foraging for water; I was out last night petting doggies! One of them was this tiny ancient little dog who had almost exactly the same hair as mine 😂
I thought I may well show you how I will almost always be found waking up- dressed in terrible (great) shirts ha! I used to have the hots for Lister when I was little 😅 I also wanna show you how my butt is healing (rememeber that massive injury I inflicted on myself by walking into the drill press in the shed? 🥲)
Tip to get rid of Cat Benatar (and scroll right!) ORRRRR just join me over on @melkimbrown 😎
Good morning! 🌻 The weather in the North has gone deliciously rainy after what felt like an eternity of unrelenting heat. I got caught in it yesterday whilst clutching a progressively more slippery big glass chopping board I’d just nabbed. Foolish me didn’t ask for a bag so my rain soaked hands were like an iron grip on it and now I can only play nice with my hands today 😂
Nevertheless, they prevail under my lingerie 👀
(Cat Benatar says she will move out of the way for a whole $5, then she can leave the vicinity and help herself to some Dreamies and that weird tinned noodle soup cats seem to like 🍜)
PS - if it looks like I seem to perch in this part of the room a lot it’s because, yeah, I do 😂 I’m very sad and I like to stare out of the window and watch the birdies divebomb a pipe they’ve been nesting in since I ever moved here 😭 so cute! They’re tiny little blue and yellow feathery critters!
Innocent (and really blurry?! Or is it just my eyesight failing me this morning!!) post day this morning! 🌻
Altjough, I may or may not have a new delivery of lingerie today, which means ofcourse I will be requiring sharing them with you when I get to finally try them on 🥺
Constantly dang nude over at @melkimbrown you’ll be bored of my nudeness in no time 😝
Good morning! 🤩 I have espresso dancing through my arteries and I’m about to get my video-making akimbo game on! Ha! 😄 the realisation that the only replacement flights available to find for a festival I am (was!) all set to go to that were cancelled sans warning the other day are now THREE TIMES THE ORIGINAL PRICE 🙃 will surely set in soon. Either in the caffeine crash or the panic that I have accommodation and everything in Prague, but currently no mode of transport to get to Prague. Heck 🥲
If anyone would like to fuel my successful journey…
🥺👉🏻👈🏻 I’ll show you what’s going on in the last two photos for saaaay… $15 tip-to-unlock on this post? 🥺 (like the true transactional-fetish girly I am! 😝)
I promise to dust-off this bodysuit before giving it to you if you nab it from my store; I assure you that I, too, don’t like sawdust in and around my bits 😂 I made the table I’m sitting on out of some spare ex-warped wood and iron legs so I can have some social gatherings in here and a place to rest feet and drinks. Then I remembered I have no pals to do that with 😂
I’d like to say that my lack of panty choice is merely a wardrobe malfunction- but I am afraid to admit, it is deliberate today! On my way back down to Newcastle; I’m relying on the train wifi to get back to you in private messages, finally!
Check out my new dress! Isn’t it pretty 😍 (ignore that I am hunching half of it! 😂) it’s just high enough to wear bra-less and low enough to wear pant-less!
I have quite poor wifi where I am right now (Pittenweem! 😄) so please bear with me! (Tis a post-exam jaunt!) PS- it is boiling here oh my god.
Uncensored shenanigans at @melkimbrown
This morning was one of the most welcome lie-ins I have had in a while 😍 I’ve slept til half 9 💪🏻 Which is saying something for me lately as I keep waking up at like 7 for no reason other than to witness the sun’s cruelty blinding me 😂
Do you reckon this bodysuit is safe to wear under a dress today?
Nudeties unblurred at @melkimbrown
Very tame outdoor shoot compared to how it was almost going to be when I misunderstood the photographer- I thought he didn’t want lingerie under the robe so I very nearly brought none 🥲
Guessssss where I am 😄 what beach disssss?
@melkimbrown rude pics over here, yo 😎
After yesterday's waaaay too long (tired, disillusioned, bedraggled) strip try-on video, I thought I would wear the set out today but got a few shots before I left the house 😇 isn’t it so pretty?! I do still really want the blue satin romper but I’m saving for a new camera lens for some up-close rude pics. I proper wanna take up-close mega explicit photos with it 😅
No more assignments and no more exams = I can finally chip away at my stash of science books (predominantly, Brian Greene’s books because he is a total science-bae 😍)
PS- fancy filling my cup? 🥺
I finished my exam and I am completely worn out 😴 phew!
I’m all showered and messy haired and freshly-washed faced so please excuse my quite bedraggled appearance in this frankly way too long strip video 🤣
This is my Honey Birdette treat to myself 💝 I luuuuuurve it! I do have my eye on that blue satin Melissa romper but I’ll be good and refrain, I promise 😂
Phew… well that’s me sleeping like a log tonight! I’m both relieved and a little… lost?! on what I do now that uni is over for the year 😵
Scroll right for the strip video! Or, join me over on @melkimbrown where I frequently strip and show you how little my boobs are (and their accompanying counterparts 😂)
Weird clothes-try-on video (Thankyou, ADHD) and messy room because I’ve just been upheaving the whole spare room and making everything (hopefully only temporarily 😅) very cluttered whilst I find ANY excuse under the sun to avoid this last stretch of uni work before tomorrow’s exam! I seem to only be able to function on horrific time-constrained stress 🥲 I really wish I were capable of planning my time better!
But anyway, look at the dress I found! 😭❤️
Innocent pic day today 😎 crouching tiger, heh!
3 days and I’ll get celebratory stark-naked post-exam! Woop woop! 🥳🥳🥳
(PS; how unbareable is this heat being? I broke the window in the living room on my birthday, because that’s how inconvenient and clumsy I am, and so I can’t open it for fresh air at all. I’m admitting temperature defeat and going to town for a lonesome restaurant meal. What do you reckon I should go for? Wherever I go I NEED chocolate for dessert, though! I need it in me! 😍)
I look quite deranged today (that is indeed spit- a bush time not particularly working down the shed but getting myself riled up and excited instead 😅)
I watched 1408 for the first time in years last night, I got spooked, a girl needs her soothing play 😂
Nakey pics and vids here 😎 yi @melkimbrown
Amateur shot of the year this like! It’s such a naff photo I just don’t have the heart to delete it 😂 these black cotton briefs are up on my panty site, saturated with the excitement brought on by noticing Honey Birdette has a sale on (I want the Whitney Unicorn Bodysuit SO SO SOOOO much 😭) @melkimbrown
I feel like this exam prep studying has grabbed me by behind my knees and rolled me backwards, arms above my head, feet in the air, bodysuit unclasped and mercilessly pinned me to the seat of this chaise longe (hey, a girl can dream!) 🥺
@melkimbrown
Happy Sunday! 🌹 Tis me, your band merch-selling and head-hitting friend; I hit my head off the band van on Friday helping unload the gear 🥲 I feel like it hadn’t even been 7 days without a head injury!
Mine you, there are no brains in there for me to have damaged, so that’s a relief! 😂
Oh my gosh I’ve been so run off my feets these past few days I haven’t even had the time to check in with you all! Last night I stumbled in from a photoshoot late and almost hypothermic, due to my usual indecent exposure tone lowering 😂
Tonight I am going to chase you and see how you’ve been doing ❤️ I even have some gifts that have arrived with me (sans gift note!) who I haven’t yet even been able to thank! Nooo!
I may have an evening apology in the form of a photo for you, too, if you accept my grovelling for being so quiet lately 😝 (plus, anything to make my mind off this foreboding exam, too!)
