Alright, where are we at here? I'm about to go out to a Chri..

Alright, where are we at here? I'm about to go out to a Christmas party...again. There are a lot of those going on right now. And I'm about to dress inappropriately...again. Mostly to tick off a person who calls herself a friend but only when I'm around. Then she's gossip girl number one. Let you know how that goes. Hopefully, there will be some good-looking people that I don't know. I am a big fan of the strange dick. But, if it's the right dick attached to the right guy, I'll take known dick if it's offered. Again, I'll let you know how it pans out. I met with the guy from Tinder. He was okay but a bit of a prude for someone on Tinder. I would have banged him, but then he started talking. He asked if I was seeing other guys, and of course, I said yes. I don't know if he thinks he's all that or is just on fry short of a happy meal, but he started telling me what's what. I guess nobody told him I have my own what's what. I don't need his. He began to say, "You have two choices..." and I cut him off right there. I said, "If I have two choices, and you take one of them away, then you have zero choices." That jammed up the gears in his head because he said my math was wrong. Then he says, "2 minus 1 equals 1, not zero." I should have explained to him it wasn't a math equation, but him letting me know I only had 2 choices as if he was making the rules that governed my behavior kind of screamed time to walk away from this one. So I unmatched him right at the table, threw a $20 down, and left. Good move, if I might say so myself. Two choices, my ass. I don't know why parents feel the need to traumatize their kids by taking them to creepy Santas in the stores. They scream bloody murder the whole time. I mean, come on. He is a creepy-looking fucker. It's a no wonder they all don't end up "Clausrophobic." I know. Shut up, Brooke. I couldn't help it with that one. But it is Christmas time, and according to everyone's wish list...they think this porn gig pays pretty damn well. Jokes on them. It's a $5 Below kind of Christmas. I like giving shit to people, but I'm not buying anyone anything that can't be replaced for $10 or less. I'm not a grinch or anything but if they don't like me because I won't buy them a $900 gift...then consider me the Grinch. Fuck. I'm 56. Still making the heads turn, though. I'm good with that. Someone asked today what I do to keep myself up. No drugs, little to no booze, no smokes of any kind, exercise, and most importantly, shrug shit off. Honestly, the greatest thing I do in life is laugh at it when it's carpet-bombing me with bullshit. And sex. Lots and lots of sex. I bet the body releases some fountain of youth shit every time you orgasm. I'd almost bank on it. So keep it "cumming" folks. I know I have and no regrets here.