Story time from a week or two before we went on vacation… S..

Story time from a week or two before we went on vacation…

So recently, my girlfriend went to the doctor for her feet pain. Of course, once she was there, the doctor was horrified at her size, wheezing, her lack of ankles and her confession that she really can’t walk much anymore. So, he officially prescribed her Ozempic for weight loss. (Don’t get too worried, keep reading).

These are those medications now, if you aren’t familiar, that are basically weight loss miracles for people, literally the magic solution for obesity.

Even though she has never showed signs of wanting to stop any of this, the doctor’s urgency and tone scared her into considering that maybe it would be beneficial for her to listen. However, before she started, she decided as a compromise that she would eat as much as she could beforehand to have a last hurrah of indulgence.

She nearly ate the Taco Bell menu one night and couldn’t even buckle her seatbelt. She couldn’t move or breathe but said “I can eat like this all I want…weight loss shot will fix it.”

The taking advantage continued. She doublefisted giant overstuffed burritos at Chipotle, three beef tacos, guac, chips and then finished my bowl. “All good. The ozempic will make it go away.” I had to basically roll her out of the restaurant.

It continued the next day as her friends watched horrified at a dinner we went out to before a movie- she consumed two entrees for her appetizer. She moved on to the next course and ate a massive steak, stripping the meat to the bone, and was the only person who got dessert (well, she got three desserts.) She laughed through her wheezing and told her friends it was all ok to do it, she was having a last hurrah before she went on the shot so that was why she was overeating. Enjoying it while she can! She couldn’t fit in the theatre seat when we got there afterwards. I had to lift the dividing armrest up between our chairs to accommodate her girth.

There was the extra large meat lovers pizza, (Ozempic will fix it!), the fried chicken frenzy, (I better enjoy it now!) and donut burgers from a local grease pit. (The medicine is gonna make it all good again!) Snap, crunch, slurp, burp, gulp. “I’m gonna miss eating this way.”

A weekend of gluttony ensued and I made sure she didn’t have to lift a fat finger. Food delivery ran her life. She ate, amongst other things in a two day span: McDonald’s Big Macs, more Taco Bell, pasta and garlic bread from a local Italian spot, about seven items from our Chinese place including a family portion of pork dumplings, Burger King, Wendy’s, Arby’s beef dip heroes, and desserts from all the ice cream places nearby. She basically went cross eyed and dazed and ate and ate and ate until she was literally red and sweating from eating so much. Between her panting she patted her mountain gut and muttered, “what a way to go out...”

The next day, she got a call from the doctor.

“We’re sorry, but your medication has been denied by insurance.“

She was pale faced. She probably put on twenty pounds in a week eating like an absolute madwoman, and now she had to sit there stuck on the couch sitting in the results of her own excess and greed and overconfidence. She literally put on an irreversible amount of weight onto an already massive body and now was stuck with it. She had eaten herself into even more obese mass of fat!

All I could do was laugh. “Welp, nice try!” Add it to the list of attempts from others to try to stifle my gf’s weight gain, another enemy of fatness defeated. I had stood by and watched it unfold but I knew how it would end… like it always does.

Also defeated was my gf, who once again accepted her fate, BUT was MORE than excited to move on and be able to eat anything she wanted again.

In summary, fat girl got confident thinking a magic pill would erase all the damage done by three years of extreme eating and weight gain, and now probably won’t be able to walk soon!

Nice job fat girl! 🤣🤣🤣