It feels so strange to live without love. In some way, it’s ..
Added 2024-10-31 11:38:05 +0000 UTCIt feels so strange to live without love. In some way, it’s frightening, though the fear itself is barely noticeable. It’s more like missing steps in the heart, ones that would lead to ecstasy, fullness, and peace.
I used to love the band Ghost. Since 2015, I listened to them almost daily. I tried to attend their concerts and, despite the struggles with queues, the crowds, and the waiting, I was always thrilled, always filled with that love. But over the past year, it’s as if that spark has faded. The same songs and melodies that once made my heart race now feel distant. I can hardly listen to them.
Recently, they announced a new tour, and for a moment, everything inside me lit up. I thought, “I’ll go for sure; I’ll buy a ticket.” Tickets for the Oslo concert go on sale tomorrow. And yet, I don’t want to go. The thought of having to travel somewhere weighs on me. It bothers me that I feel not “I want to,” but “I have to.” It’s as if I’m forcing love out of myself. Will that love actually come back, or will I just be trying to fake it, to justify the time and effort?
It feels as though I might no longer be capable of love.
