I had a ridiculously horny moment this morning. Back when I ..

I had a ridiculously horny moment this morning. Back when I was skinny, I would avoid mirrors at all costs. I hated seeing myself… it was so hard for me. Because it was that way for the greater half of my life, I’m definitely still conditioned to just not look at myself in them very often. On top of that - I often don’t realize just how big I am. I think many of us who produce content online have some level of body dysmorphia simply due to our bodies never being good enough to please everyone. So with those 2 factors in mind… I guess I just simply forget about big I really am sometimes. This morning I was rushing like crazy trying to get out the door and head to work. Nothing I wanted to wear was fitting, per usual. The scrubs I JUST bought felt tighter. The dress that I always wear was suddenly uncomfortably tight. The pregnancy tunics i loooove just weren’t fitting right. I was getting aggravated, making a mess, and just stopped for a second to collect my thoughts. There I stood, completely naked in front of my mirror in total awe of the reflection looking back at me. The roundness of my belly sticks out further than my hips do. A perfect sphere completely dominating the rest of my body. So swollen and taut from days of gluttony. My thighs were fatter than I remember, losing the little bit of muscle that remains. I was just amazed at how huge I’ve let myself become. So far from that fit little body I used to avoid seeing at all costs. I’m huge now. Not as big as I’ll be someday but far bigger than I once was. Purposefully. Deliberately. Intentionally fat. I f0rced a perfectly and naturally skinny body fatter and I’ll never be able to turn back. And now I’m too horny to function.