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I woke up late this morning.. my fat lazy ass slept right th..

I woke up late this morning.. my fat lazy ass slept right through my alarm. I woke up with a serious food hangover and covered in taco crumbs from a very gluttonous feast last night. My belly was aching and it took several tries to heave myself up out of bed. I stumbled to the bathroom, picked up my massive gut, and dropped it down on the counter. I looked at my swollen face in the mirror and knew that my morning was about to get a lot harder. All my clothes are dirty because my lazy ass hasn’t done laundry in a hot minute. My options were limited and that’s never good for a growing pig like me. I tore my closet apart trying to find something… literally anything that might fit me for me to wear to work. It was a lost cause and I knew it from the start. So what did I do? I called my employees and said I’d be working from home today. Aka, working from the couch. Doordash is on the way and I’m ready to make my problems much bigger.

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