*PERSONAL POST* scroll away to avoid the feels and maintain ..

*PERSONAL POST* scroll away to avoid the feels and maintain your image of me lol. I’m in such a damn good mood today :’3 I love when I finally get over my own bullshit and am able to pump out content like a lil vixen and actually feel confident and motivated. The high I get from crossing things off my to-do list is like nothing else. I always tor* ture myself with the thought of not being good enough and I’m working on that in therapy so I can re-route the thought. I think it’s working at least a little :’3 My trip to New York really helped, the independence traveling by myself gives me just does somethin’ to my head, it makes me feel like I can do anything and turns off that fearful part of my brain. Having my ears done also helps, I had to wear a bandaid over one of them for the last YEAR :( I could have gotten it taken care of sooner, but I just didn’t have the motivation. Doing well on onlyfans is finally allowing me to catch-up on everything I’ve wanted to do for myself and I love it. If you’re on my snap you already know, but the other half of my trip to New York was visiting my dad’s grave for the first time since his funeral. I’ve been wanting to visit it for 14 years, but I just wasn’t ready. I ended up going and it was the most beautiful, peaceful spot, I thought I was imagining the way I remembered it, under a tree and in the sun surrounded by a forest, but I was exactly right. I sat there for a while and had a little lunch and just talked “to myself” out loud for a while. Cemeteries make me feel really sick usually but I felt okay, serene even. It might sound strange but that’s where a lot of my motivation has come from as well, I had a slight epiphany there about something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I think I’m ready to take the plunge. I love making sexy content, but I miss live streaming and connecting with others in real time...I know twitch is having a million issues right now, but I really want to start streaming regularly on there and I hope you’ll join me. I don’t need to make money from it so there’s no pressure and I’ll just be able to be my batshit crazy self and hopefully make you laugh and have a good time :’3 I plan on starting full time the second week of December, I’d love it if you went and followed me there til then! Twitch.tv/GGbbCG If you read this far, thank you and I hope you’re having an amazing night uwu And if you’re not, I have lots of good stuff comin’ this week to make it better💗 Love you quite a lot, tbh Xoxo siege