The wolfman told me to climb on top and ride, little did he ..

The wolfman told me to climb on top and ride, little did he know I'm a cock jockey ;) I love being on top because me and my partner can easily get up into those guts and slam against my gspot till it all goes SPLASH 💦⛲💦 I flooded my kitchen floor this way, once upon a time. I've also splashed while riding someone's face and basically accidentally h2o boarded them. They ain't mad and neither am I ;) lol . . . . I feel like I should also mention that our choice to not wear condoms was negotiated before hand with testing etc. . . . . . I also wanna put a little journaling down here at the bottom, cuz I know there are some people that follow me here not only for sexy content but the personal element of what I bring with it as well. I loved watching these videos, we're both so clearly into it. That moment when I splashed? *chefs kiss* I couldn't have planned that better. And then my brain goes to recent medical developments for me and I got kind of down. That laproscopy I had confirmed not only do I have endomitriosis, but it's implanted little nodes all over the peritoneal sack of my guts. This means there's no telling how far it extends. There have been some cases they found it as high as the lungs! My only real options are surgery to try and burn out all of the nodes, and then medication which will send me into an early menopause. And... That made me very sad and scared. One thing I know comes with menopause is "vaginal dryness." But it's more than that... The mucous membrane of the lips and interior vulva is basically gone, and the skin is not hydrating properly. This leads to breaking skin, pulled muscles, vaginismus generally speaking. This terrifies me beyond belief. The reason being is that I have lost my ability to orgasm briefly a long time ago due to trauma with an ex partner. I have always used sex and masturbation as coping mechanisms and a method of controlling my brain chemistry. When I lost that ability, and all the other times my body has failed me, it's hard to look at the next steps I have to take for my physical health and be optimistic. Am I going to be able to fuck like this after I start medication? I don't know. I wish I could be better prepared for what needs to happen, but I'm not. I'm just trying not to let myself be too scared or sad about it. And that's one of the reasons I'm doing onlyfans, so I can afford to get a good surgeon who can be precise in their excision process, and maybe I won't have to do the medication at all. And then I could stay a wet sloppy mess for at least a little while longer.