When I am in a heightened emotional response/mindset I tend to search for things I can control or organize because my nervous system craves order in the chaos. Unfortunately in the past what was easy to control was my nutrition (or lack there of) and how I looked. *que eating disorder and body dysmorphia* I caught myself falling back into that pattern this past week. Iโve been in a trauma response the last month because life threw me some fucking curve balls. Which is honestly probably the biggest reason I made this account lol but nonetheless weโre here and weโre queer. ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Reminding myself to be gentle, be nurturing, and be kind to my body. Thereโs no reason big enough to intentionally harm my body for a way of feeling control. Thatโs not okay and I used it in the past to, idk, ground myself instead of being swallowed by my scared shitless core self. I donโt want to live that pattern anymore.