@brianwho__ photography featuring one of my favorite picture..

@brianwho__ photography featuring one of my favorite pictures of myself—the one where i’m laying over the chairs. I was like “Brian, I want to do some weird stuff” and he was like “Lacey, those chairs are metal and in the sun. They’re going to burn you.” But I did it anyway, and I was extremely happy with the outcome. I feel like my body captured all the sunlight and glowiness I always want to show you and then it’s offset by my trashed vans—my “fuck it let’s jump in that lake” adventure girl shoes. Anyway, posting that was the first time instagram deleted one of my posts for showing a couple pixels of a nipple which honestly made me feel awful. Like, this extremely cool, fun, artistic thing I was doing by taking these photos, this whole vibe I wanted to focus on and show you, wasn’t acceptable. I read somewhere one time that shame is when you think you’re doing something fun and you’re happy and something cuts off that happiness and makes whatever you were doing seem evil. I think I honestly cried about instagram deleting that post. I was coming home on the train, and I’d been shooting for like four hours (plus commute time), and I was totally overwhelmed. I experienced all the anxiety that comes from feeling shamed for having a body—all the feelings of “oh shit, am I making people uncomfortable or doing something wrong?” But I calmed down with the help of like two cups of coffee, blasting music, and walking (this is my calm and confident space), and I was like, fuck this. I don’t want to give some bullshit answer about how my pictures are artistic not sexual. Yes the pictures are artistic, they are also sexual. Find me some really good art that doesn’t have any sexuality expressed in it. Eroticism is the core of good art. So my pictures, they’re erotic and beautiful and express a feeling and an emotion I want to share with the world, and fuck the whole fucking world for trying to make that something I have to feel shame for doing.